Daily Archives: June 2, 2014

Being selfish

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People readily refute when you say to them that they have been selfish…they don’t even want to think of themselves in such lights. As a matter of fact, it is easier seeing others that way than you! Why…you got that right ‘we are naturally selfish’. Okay! I can feel all your protests and the stones being hurled at me…talkless of the stony gazes with anger shooting through those eyes. What did I say wrong? I only just said the truth …I guess. But whose truth? That would be a matter for another day.

Right now..I’m feeling liberated that I have your attention…When was the last time you called someone because you truly cared and not because you needed something from them or something happened that reminded you of them and it occured to you that it’s been ages and you haven’t spoken, seen, written, visited or called them. You see, we have so many options of how to reach people…yet we don’t and you know why? We are just too busy for ourselves with little time to rest…

and now she says ” to spare some for some idle chat”,

“get a life!” you say

…and I reply “live yours!”

Even an island is surrounded by something…water 🙂 how come you want to dwell in isolation, not reach out, or let anyone in for that matter. Right now, I’m wondering what I’m going on and on about. So I guess I’ll stop there to say. I’ve been really busy and that’s a true excuse and definitely no reason to shut down on you and the rest of the people that spare a second of their day to think about me when my thoughts hurriedly rush by. By the way, I didn’t apologize for being selfish, I just painted the picture so you share in the guilt too…that way we might all retrace our way…if we are willing.

Being selfish was never intentional but life that happened and I let it.

Fake or Faith

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I’m seated here and wondering why people think you have to say “all is well”, when all is not well! Why must I put on a mask that comes with a pretend smile…when I truly want to scream my head off and let you know I’m peeved about what you did or said! I’m not jingle belling over the sad state of my serious concerns for better living and opportunities in my country. Or in a celebration mode just because it’s a new day…so what happened to the real issues I had to deal with during the night, called no light, finished gas and too late to get gas (for cooking and illumination)! Phew!!!

Well, it looks like one of those days you wonder what you had said exactly when you first got up and your feet hit the ground. Did you even say a prayer at all, you wonder. Hmmm… but I throw a joke; and I say to my friend when she asks “How are you?” My thoughts reply quickly but before the words could come out of my mouth, I reply “I’m supposed to watch what I say, right? So I’ll say it is well” and she smiles and says “yes”. Trust me, the volcano was just building and she knew…so I continued, “it’s not okay”, to which she says “I know” and then I reel all the ‘battles’ I had to deal with in the space of some hours before the break of dawn.

Did I pretend about my belief? No! I might not always use the religious lingua “It is well” and that’s because it has gone beyond a default reply for me to a deep seated belief that it is truly well, whether I feel it or not. It is knowledge I have, that no matter all the discordant rhythms around me… with a change of attitude and perception, those sounds become a harmony of melodies. Therefore, it is no longer a Fake but Faith at work in me, acknowledging that these battles will pass shortly…and I’m at peace.

So, what are you pretend-smiling about? Pray share