thsi wass yesterday’s challenge and i didn’t do it, not because i didn’t want to but i guess i got too busy…beside i#m having fun laughing at myself and all the jargons i’m writing down here….whoever heard of writing and not cancelling or editing. it’s crazy but i kinda like it.
now to my 3 favourite songs…mmmmmh i’m not sure hwagr they are but i know i love jazz, blues (back in scholl) it must have been the poppy love thingy…growing up and thinking the world was ifilled with roses only, just to deiscover that they were thorns too. wow! thorns!!! mum never warned me about that. like i was saying before i digressed. i love jazz, blues and some what slow songs…i love listening to instrumentals but whic of the genre do i like the most…not sure…which song in particular…not sure too. as i can sing a whole lot of songs.
for me, music comes handy when i’m sad or trying not to say what i really whant to say so i don’t hurt you…more like a getaway place…a room for escape. i love muisic generally though (sadness aside). been writing for quite a while now and its not yet 15 mins…you’ll never know time can be so slow if you are writing without editing but itf i had to go through each line and edit…i’ll still be on my first paragraph.
i love good songs…will i tell you the lyrics no! as i’m yet to make up my mind on it. i guess i’m tired already. it doesn’t ake any sense just writing for writing sake…who does that?! i just did. hoping you’d make sense out of all this.
if you ever want to find me when i’m in my alone-place, come to where the music is on…you’d meet me tehre or my soul dancing away, noddi ng to the beats or tapping my feet to the trhythm…cos where the somngs are there i am!
We had trudged on the dusty paths in our white t-shirts, with brownish – pale green trousers and orange coloured boots and the feeling of achievement at being numbered amongst those who were doing the long walk. To us it seemed like we were the first to achieve such feats. But hey…a million more had done this before us. But we didn’t care; this was our moment… and enjoy it we were going to. The commandant had earlier warned us about using body sprays or perfume. And I thought to myself as I splurged on my deodorant “why go out smelling less than best this early morning, I’m sure this won’t attract anyone not to talk of insects”.
As we walked-climbed the hilly stony roads, singing funny songs with no real meaning, my battle with the buzzing ones began. As I hit one away from me, its friend came to say ‘hello’ and so we continued walking, singing, smacking at the insects and keeping up a brave face at the Commandant’s disapproving look of ‘I-told-you-so!’.
There it was…
…like I imagined in my dreams (a thousand times).
I couldn’t believe we had such a place in this location, no not even in my country. The green leaves were alive and beckoning…inviting me to dare take a step towards the Fall…to stand beneath the rocks and experience the rich blend of Green and Brown with a rush of colourless water. Not sure when, but I found myself shivering under the rushing waters in my uniform and smiling from my heart. Not minding my hair, boots and others, as I drank in the scene. ..taking pictures as reminders…some in my thoughts and a few that got spoilt.
It’s been 16 years now…but every time I remember it, I am transported once again to the beautiful Waterfalls somewhere at Oyi in Anambra State…and I wish I could go back there!
People readily refute when you say to them that they have been selfish…they don’t even want to think of themselves in such lights. As a matter of fact, it is easier seeing others that way than you! Why…you got that right ‘we are naturally selfish’. Okay! I can feel all your protests and the stones being hurled at me…talkless of the stony gazes with anger shooting through those eyes. What did I say wrong? I only just said the truth …I guess. But whose truth? That would be a matter for another day.
Right now..I’m feeling liberated that I have your attention…When was the last time you called someone because you truly cared and not because you needed something from them or something happened that reminded you of them and it occured to you that it’s been ages and you haven’t spoken, seen, written, visited or called them. You see, we have so many options of how to reach people…yet we don’t and you know why? We are just too busy for ourselves with little time to rest…
and now she says ” to spare some for some idle chat”,
“get a life!” you say
…and I reply “live yours!”
Even an island is surrounded by something…water 🙂 how come you want to dwell in isolation, not reach out, or let anyone in for that matter. Right now, I’m wondering what I’m going on and on about. So I guess I’ll stop there to say. I’ve been really busy and that’s a true excuse and definitely no reason to shut down on you and the rest of the people that spare a second of their day to think about me when my thoughts hurriedly rush by. By the way, I didn’t apologize for being selfish, I just painted the picture so you share in the guilt too…that way we might all retrace our way…if we are willing.
Being selfish was never intentional but life that happened and I let it.
I’m seated here and wondering why people think you have to say “all is well”, when all is not well! Why must I put on a mask that comes with a pretend smile…when I truly want to scream my head off and let you know I’m peeved about what you did or said! I’m not jingle belling over the sad state of my serious concerns for better living and opportunities in my country. Or in a celebration mode just because it’s a new day…so what happened to the real issues I had to deal with during the night, called no light, finished gas and too late to get gas (for cooking and illumination)! Phew!!!
Well, it looks like one of those days you wonder what you had said exactly when you first got up and your feet hit the ground. Did you even say a prayer at all, you wonder. Hmmm… but I throw a joke; and I say to my friend when she asks “How are you?” My thoughts reply quickly but before the words could come out of my mouth, I reply “I’m supposed to watch what I say, right? So I’ll say it is well” and she smiles and says “yes”. Trust me, the volcano was just building and she knew…so I continued, “it’s not okay”, to which she says “I know” and then I reel all the ‘battles’ I had to deal with in the space of some hours before the break of dawn.
Did I pretend about my belief? No! I might not always use the religious lingua “It is well” and that’s because it has gone beyond a default reply for me to a deep seated belief that it is truly well, whether I feel it or not. It is knowledge I have, that no matter all the discordant rhythms around me… with a change of attitude and perception, those sounds become a harmony of melodies. Therefore, it is no longer a Fake but Faith at work in me, acknowledging that these battles will pass shortly…and I’m at peace.
So, what are you pretend-smiling about? Pray share