Category Archives: Relationships

#MotivationalMonday – Missed calls

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#MotivationalMonday – Missed calls

So, what’s the phenomenon behind “missed calls”?

Will something happen to me if I have a missed call, whether genuinely missed or intentionally ignored?

A businessman would calculate the value of that call, and so would the operator at the Lighthouse or Control Tower who warns of the danger of missing a call etc.; I’m sure you get the picture now.

One of my friends, (name withheld, but with a sound of ‘war’ in it), used to give me the heat for not picking her call, few minutes after we last spoke. Being about two minutes away from picking me up, I would deliberately ignore her call. Upon querying her as to why this was important, she responded; “what if something happened soon after we got off the phone and I needed to alert you on it”? So, I learnt not to ignore calls, even when I think I know what will be discussed.

So, yours truly is back from work, very tired and have to make food to eat (usually something unusual), with the satisfied look of finally-life-has-new-meaning-to-me and then Oba comes calling! I don’t have a problem with his calling, just so you know, but there are times that though you miss someone, you’d rather just fall into the bed and be watched by a movie (my usual), than pick a call, pretending to be listening and sometimes sleep off on the person as he or she is talking.

Thinking over on this now, there are some voices so soothing, they’d easily send you to sleep.

When you find a missed call on your phone, what do you do? Call back, or thank God you missed it, or blame it on the network.

Well, you did miss a call or two today.

How did I know?

What did you do with that prompting to pray for someone; Check up on someone and or leaving a message (which sometimes may sound silly, but by the time you get a response from that person, you recognize that you had just responded to a call that was divinely dialed), or simply having a conversation with God your Father?

What else did you do after the worship alarm went off, snoozed and continued sleeping till the bath alarm sounded?

It would be mischievous of me to put you on the spot, making you feel funny and sad about your missed calls…

So this is what we will do, return those calls; that’s one of the ways you get to build a stronger bond with Him, don’t you know He loves hearing your voice, be it in prayer, praise or worship or even gisting. I even write Him notes! That’s been a while, but I’m repenting and resuming my duties. I need to fill up His post bin.

How are you going to make up?

It’s a dicey situation, but whatever you decide that makes you happy, may the call you miss not be the one you had been waiting for for a while, to propel you into the next best and big thing!

@imanikel 260421 (c) Frances Kelvin Otung

Into Me See aka #Intimacy

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Into Me See aka #Intimacy

For some reason, all the songs I’ve listened to today, is a call to be intimate and be satisfied – knowing Who you seek and desire. Lately, Oba has been on my matter, on another level I must say, and before your mind starts racing round the globe, he’s not with me right now, but within the Community…LOL. 😌 He’s working on our communication (non-verbal), gist (verbal) and we laugh about the silliest of things. It’s like being rediscovered newly. 🙈

I reckon, there’s an outcry for depth in relationships (whatever type of relationship you are involved in) and really see everything about the person (warts and all) and staying there regardless of the sides you discover. Speaking of sides, the other day, my sister (from another mother) posted something about having three sides and I told her (and the other of my sister) that I know four or more of their sides and we are still laughing about the matter, because there’s so much to discover if only we look deeper.

I’m taking a new path down the intimacy lane and it involves Communication, Observation and Intentionality to Discover or Rediscover what is underneath the one(s) you are crazy about! It’s been deliberate and sometimes annoying, like “didn’t I just talk with you?!” 😳and he goes, “Did you see me?!” meaning let’s do a video-call. To which I respond, “my battery is low”, of course he didn’t hear that part because by the next second, my phone is ringing, and guess what, I’m in the dark, because PHCN has done their rationing thingy and I can’t find someone to help with the generator. But Oba is satisfied seeing my silhouette even with the slowly dying-out torch I have in the living room, whilst waiting for power to return or the gen-helper to show up.

Intimacy is a call to drop your guard, let go of the mask and just BE! That’s risky you say and I have to agree with you. What’s life without risk and spice? What’s life that is regimented to a T! I don’t mind the mix at all, the colours make the world a better place, so why should anyone seek to remain on the surface?

A call to discover has gone out, and it is seeking takers to come into depth with the Father in the place of worship. Calling on others to go beyond the seen and love like never before. It is a call for MORE.

Into me see the things I’d rather hide
Discover stuff that take away pride
Peel away layers upon layers
And bring to fore my deep desires
Into me see the tears behind my eyes
And the pain that pierces my sides
Search through piles and piles
Of truths I keep away in unmarked files
Into me see the me that is bare
Bold and sometimes without a care
Pulling away brick after brick
Till I’m like one without a grip
Into me see I’m done with the tales
Cos in You, falsehood pales…
When glory unveils the veiled
This intimacy has me revealed

You know your varying areas of need, get intimate with it, discover the other angles to your life, family, business, ministry and whatever makes your heart glad. I’ll be here smiling as I anticipate the next move in my #Intimacy journey.

@imanikel 290321 (c) Frances Kelvin Otung

The Gift called Silence

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The Gift called Silence

Rushing to my lips were a variety of ‘amazing’ responses,
Suited for the cacophony of ‘shades’ shot at my defenses.
Begging to be released, so they wash the other
As if by this singular act, restore order.
Yet, the barricade upon my lips held it grounds,
Causing my insides to bear these painful rounds.
Taking pride and finding love in sweet words;
These, sliced deep and hurt like battle-field swords.
Silence ruled and reigned in my world of many voices,
As different options in my mind held its vices.

Toying with the script I plan to play, with no one for audience,
I created scenes and crops for that day of rewarding offence.
Silently, I weighed, analyzed and found guilty each word
Silently, the Word taunted me to give up my right to God
Silently, with pain gnawing at my core
I pushed past each unmemorable bore
Suggestions of peace came a knocking
Revenge said, “you gat to be joking!”
I had my chances to let it all out and think later
I said no, because a peace trophy is always better.

Silence is a precious gift…
I’m glad I used for this rift.

@imanikel 100221 (c) Frances Kelvin Otung

The Running Thief

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The Running Thief

Our world has reached a place where everyone wants to be on their own, enjoy their space (so they say)!
Why am I saying this?
I spoke with one of my babies yesterday, trying to tell her about the usefulness of forming and having relationships, not just by name, but by truly having one. She tells me, “I love having my space!” Shocked I was, being a person that loves family, but I tried to see this through her eyes and it wasn’t the having a “me-time” thingy, it was an “everyone-leave-me-alone, I’ll-reach-you-if-I-need-you” and it felt like usury and I’m not sure I want to be reached or checked up on only when someone needs my help. I think it would be sweet to just wake up and see a message for no reason other than, “you crossed my mind”, “I miss you”, OR for “no reason at all!”

With this in mind, on my way to work daily, I don’t do phones, doing phones is another way of saying “leave me to my world and mind-your-own-business.” I watch and take in different scenarios, and trust me, Lagos has plenty drama. The sad part is when you are involved in it directly or indirectly, so let’s say it’s one of the days I was a spectator, not a participant. As the vehicle maneuvered its way through the body of cars, (meaning, we were in a traffic-jam, a norm on any given morning and night), I saw a water-supply truck – not the ones that supply water to tanks, but the ones that delivery bags of sachet water, also trying to maneuver its way through. To move on, the driver had to slow down and allow another vehicle pass to avoid a collision. But that was an ‘error’… in a split second, I noticed a young man weave his way through the jam, grab a bag of water and started running. Hmmm…

Funnily enough, the two young men, (probably his age mates trying to make ends meet by doing the delivery work) were oblivious of what had happened, but will realize the shortage at the point of delivery. I’m thinking, so I woke up on the 1st of February (it happened yesterday) and the first thing on my To-Do list is, “steal a bag of water from a moving truck”. Now, I’m wondering what the second item is on the list, grab bread from the bread-seller or what?!

Who do we blame for this?
Society?
Our lack of values or failure to apply values taught?
Government? (our go-to whenever we need someone to blame)
Our parents? (for not being as wealthy as Mr. Jones next door)
The church? (for not sharing the offerings on the street, despite all the CSR programmes and free vocational training given to point us in the right direction)
Our location? (If only I wasn’t born in Nigeria…rolling my eyes at you for this thought)
Our blaming game is one long list…except ourselves.

Well, the running thief escaped today, will he tomorrow? when he sits in a place of authority tomorrow and has no scruples about putting his hands in the treasury bag, remember the sachet bag he took with ease in public view and the praise he received from other occupants of the vehicle I was in “Sharp guy!” So don’t tell me about how they failed to keep their mandates, because truth be told, they never really had one or a good value antecedent to follow.

Just stating my view on this matter, let’s hear yours.

I remain IMAN – I Manifest Adonai’s Nature #UnapologeticallyMe

@imanikel 02022021 (c) Frances Kelvin Otung

#FreedomFridays – The voice in the Voice

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A messed up day it was, till I heard your voice…did you leave a voice note in the midst of my crazy day? No! My mind by default recalled the pleasures I have when I hear the sound of your voice and it drew upon that reminder. My thought searched through my files and remembered the Word of Him who loves me beyond limits, and when these two sounds synergized, my world, my atmosphere experienced a shift.

Photo by Kelly Lacy on Pexels.com

It may look and sound like an ordinary day to others,
But when the rhythms play out in my soul like no other,
I dance to blues unknown
Gaining pleasures untold
Dropping by to say, “I love you my Oba” and “thank You my King for this gift”
That gives not just my heart the throb, or my being the bob, but also my face a lift!

It sometimes rings like silence crafted to plague my day
Yet with You, the created, the intangible have their say
On the surface, the ‘mask’ shields the anxiety and questions
Yet Your Voice becomes a fortress in the center of tensions
Thank You for the Voice within the voice
The same that comforts and surrounds us!

In the songs I hear, the reminders so clear
“You are more to me than these My dear”
I rejoice in knowing Your love for me never fades
But gets cooler in all awesomeness and shades
I remain Yours now and forever more
And You, the One Iman adores!

I Am Iman – I Manifest Adonai’s Nature #UnapologeticallyMe

@imanikel 29012021 (c) Frances Kelvin Otung

Meditation helps

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Meditation helps

Oba is away for a while to address work and settle family matters. This means we get to relate mostly via phone. The question begs, when someone you relate with everyday, like almost every other hour is not in proximity with and to you, how do you keep the fire burning, their touch close or their voices within ear shot?

You think about them!
Yes, have your mind full of their thoughts, voices and everything that reminds you of them. To the point that, if you had a question you would have asked them for their opinions, you can easily tell what their responses would be because you have your mind full of them. Therefore, you will hear a voice say “this is the way, walk in it!”

Little wonder, the Bible enjoins us “to mediate on it day and night and observe to do according to all that is written”, to “think on these things”, and to be “as the man thinks in his heart”

The word meditation comes from the Latin word meditārī, which has a range of meanings including to reflect on, to study, and to practice. It is the act of remaining in a silent and calm state for a period of time, as part of a religious training, or so that you are more able to deal with the problems of everyday life. It is also the act of thinking about something very carefully and deeply for a long time.

I’m not dealing with the yoga-kind of meditation here, just a simple clearing or better put decluttering your mind of unnecessary thoughts that are not progressive to your health, well-being, relationships with their spouses or others, work, family, dreams/aspirations and focusing on those thoughts that are!

The fact that people most and generally do not give time to “thinking” (meditating) on each aspect of their lives as they ought to. Thinking on (investing thoughts) these parts of our lives actually means fuelling life into them, and breathing on them to live.

If we can commit to thinking deeply (meditate), on everything we hope to see life happen on another level just as we want it to, I’m sure they will come alive just the way we see them in the place of meditation.

Meditation implies investing thoughts, it is a SEED planted, you can plant, then nurture daily by thinking a step deeper and deeper, until the desired end is achieved.

I love this aspect, it does not have to happen immediately, but being consistent in adding a thought on the positives side, and deepening every passing day, births the positive giant we wish to see

Let’s do right by peace, joy and love today, create that atmosphere around you, carry it wherever you are! Let your meditation be on that which is lovely, true, honest, has virtue and is of a good report. Who agrees to this mind change? Let’s see it in your action!😘

@imanikel 27102020 Frances Kelvin Otung

Wrap Me

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Wrap Me

Wrap me round you when the cold brews
Wrap me round you if you want hues
Wrap me round you if you seek clues
Wrap me round you i’ll pay your warmth dues!

Unwrap me from memories, let’s share stories
unwrap me from a time of heated glories
Unwrap me in your mind from memory stand
Unwrap me with a song, and dance to the band

Seek me out from piles of coloured tiles
Seek me out from your drawer of files
Seek me out to study my body
Seek me out we are more than buddies.

Search through the grains before it rains
Search through each lane, don’t let it drain
Search with intensity and find
Search, defy, don’t leave me behind!

@imanikel 18092020 Frances Kelvin Otung

Peace with my Past

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Peace with my Past

You’ve moved on like ‘centuries’ ago
making moments lose its’ glow…
Yet, I still see and reminisce
your moves and several instances
where your words lighted and remained
your deeds impacted and sustained,
leaving behind reminders that reek of you!

There should be a point I let go
and allow the currents to flow
taking with it bits and pieces past
so the new will find ground to breed fast,
creating new experiences with a tinge of old?
Nah! I’d rather grow learning, than put my life on a hold.
Leaving behind reminders that reek of you!

It is what it is,
Be silent in there please!
It is what it is
You’ve lost your ability to tease
It is what it is
With the past, I’ve made my peace.

@imanikel 21:08:2020 Frances Kelvin Otung

Another Form of Child Abuse?

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I saw something interesting today. My occasional bus ride to work when I want to beat certain traffic and not get stopped on the way for it, yields me delight every time! Today I had mixed feelings and this is why.

After I got into the vehicle, followed by two other ladies, the last occupant was a girl-child with her school bag, carrying her brother with his school bag behind him and they sat by the door! I could hear the mother’s plea to the Conductor not to leave the door open. But we know in Lagos, it is style to leave the door open, hang on the door or behind the vehicle answering calls as the driver speeds on as if chased by a demon! STYLE!

What the Conductor did was to block where the children sat with his body (his head was in and derriere jutting out for stability) as he collected his charge and gave change. Being concerned for the child, I kept asking him to shut the door, he politely ignored me, at some point the lady beside the girl-child took the brother and positioned him in front of her and it felt a little safe. When a passenger got down by the next stop, the Conductor moved her into a better location. Phew!

Before that move, we saw her brother collect money from her and tried bending down from his tight spot but the lady held him up. He tried it again, this time his sister did the same too. We noticed that they were sticking their balance (apparently for lunch or snack or transport back) into their socks, to prevent it from being stolen! Hmmm. LOL. See wisdom.

Why am I saddened?

She fell asleep during this trip after her relocation to a better seat. I started imagining what time she woke up to prepare for school. I imagined the long trip to school. I imagined how she will ‘drag’ aka ‘compete’ with other bus users (who are going home tired and not in a pleasant mood to allow a child get on the bus before them) for a space on the bus home pulling her brother with her (and their bags). I wondered, why they had to travel this distance to attend a public school unaccompanied, when they had other public schools near their home they could attend.

You might argue that this one is cheaper. But by the time you add the cost of transportation to and fro, the different hazards on the road, you will agree their parents should have a re-think.

Guess what, He is 3 years old and she is 9!

ChildAbuse

Pix credit: Child Abuse

©2017. Frances Kelvin Otung. All rights reserved.

Celebrating Life through Loss!

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My dear friend and sister Amb. Unyime-Ivy King lost her dad recently. As I watched her wall, read her initial tribute and the ones written by others, I wondered how many of them told him all these things whilst he was alive. Typical of people to plan to tell you someday how they feel about you and how by being who you are, has made them better people. Sadly, ‘that day’ never comes.

Sometimes, pain brings us the needed awakening to the truth that, moments are fleeting and so also life. As such, we need to embrace it totally and completely as each moment passes. Giving every second a bit or more of us…, letting someone understand in that second that they have our attention that they mean the world and more to us.

Knowing this and having experienced a loss-too-many recently, I have decided to chronicle and celebrate people in my life every other day. It doesn’t cost you anything except looking through the archives in your heart and letting people know that you truly appreciate them for the part they have played in the drama called your “life”.

I must say, our lives would have been boring without them in it. It would have been a drag, a dull shade of blue and no exciting hue. Regrets would have be the sigh on our lips at all the unsaid. Some have gone, others will join soon. But we have today and now. Let’s make it worth every breath we take, be the reason for the spring in our steps, the laughter in voice and ring in our song.

Tell me today the-me you love, appreciate and never want to be without. For all we know, the part of me I dislike and wish to change, is actually what makes your world rocks. But I’ll never know if you don’t say. Let the celebrations begin!

*By the way, my friend loves celebrating people. You should try it too!#CelebratingPeople (1)

(c) 2017. Frances Kelvin Otung. All rights reserved.