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When Lovers Fight… 😟😉😳🏃‍♀️

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When Lovers Fight… 😟😉😳🏃‍♀️

Dear Heart,

I have a question for you.

*“Go ahead, I’m listening”

Why do you hurt so much when I’m offended and upset at him? (Let me add a second)
Why does he go about smiling and grinning as if what happened didn’t do a number on him or pluck a nerve in him!
Is it that I never meant anything to him? 😟😳
If you feel sad in me about what has happened and want to reconcile, how come your twin in him, is cocky and won’t bow to please you and make me feel better?

Iman?”

Yes, Heart? 😔 and don’t give me the he’s-a-man card, you’ve played that card for too long!

“Yes, he has a heart like you have me, but he is wired differently. By this I mean, some of them don’t wear their hearts on their sleeves like you do! And just so you know, when you are hurt, he hurts too, because you are connected by love (Soulmates), woven in emotions, bonded in spirit. He may not show it, he may even call your bluff, but trust me on this, the pain is real for him as well. When you ‘fight’, he acts out in different ways that says, I-don’t-care-you-didn’t-affect-me-that-much.”

“Let me ask you Iman, would you rather do battle or do love?!”

But you know I love Love and there’s no beating about the bush on that. So does that give him the right to hurt me by acting tough rather than say sorry?, not like the sorry would really matter, but I’m a babe and the sorry would mean, “I acknowledge I was wrong here and I miss our companionship”, I miss our time together, let’s make up, my world has been not-it without you and so much more, if you get what I mean.

“O yeah sure I get your point… but let’s try something out. Since you know you love Love, why not talk about what he did that you don’t like in a loving and friendly manner and see if he will come to you. If that doesn’t work….”

I give him the silent treatment, right?! 💃

” 😂😂😂😂😂 Iman???
Why do you love pulling the silent treatment card always? But you claim to love love; love keeps no records of wrongs, but seeks to breed peace at all times”

“If you search within you, you will realise you know how to reach him more smoothly… like you say in Nigeria, you hold his **mumu-button, simply activate it with a smile,…trust me he will come panting after you.”

Go no further, Heart. You’ve just hit the nail on the head. But please have a word with your twin in him and tell him to soften up his master, we can’t keep activating the mumu-button over ‘fights’, it’s for special times, if you get what I mean.

“But Iman, you know you don’t have to be religious with your “Special Moments”, besides you need that button the most in times of conflicts. You know Iman, it’s wearisome trying to reach the one you love when both of you are being driven apart by your ego.”

Hello Heart, For the life of me, I’m wondering, when did we join the opponent’s team, we ought to be on the same team for Christ’s sake. I am not the enemy! and there’s no trophy to win in fighting each other, can’t you see!?

“I understand you clearly Iman, but you see, when we talk about loving and giving, respect is also a gift as compassion is a gift. “A gentle answer turns away wrath” as the Bible says.”

…but some people have interpreted it to mean a gentle answer by a woman, turns away the wrath of a man… isn’t it?

“It is both ways o! So let’s be intentional in loving, You and I, together we can do better. Let’s be mindful of our lines and ways of communication when we are angry with him, because there are some words you’d say in that moment of rage that when the battle is over and we feel right about pushing the mumu-button, we may push for so long and run the battery out, because of hanging memories of the things said in anger.”

“Wash your mouth…oops, I meant to say WATCH your mouth. You don’t want to live your life in regrets because you wouldn’t let go of your title on the EGO belt.”

Hmmmmmm Heart?? 🙈🙈🙈 you are so right you know?

“O sure Iman, that is why I am your partner in this love relationship. You know you can’t always rely on your head, but on me; I help you make the best decisions girl”

Thanks Heart. I truly appreciate your honesty with me, I’ll keep these words really close to you, and follow through on them. Once again, thank you for being a sweetheart for real.

Heart??

“Yes Iman?”

You know? He actually said sorry, and that he wasn’t okay when I wasn’t; and I’m glad it’s all sorted now. But don’t forget to talk to his heart too ok?

One more thing Heart, “I don’t know his mumu-button, because I am his mumu-button!💃😘😘😘

Yours in love,
#UnapologeticallyMe

@imanikel 060821 (c) Frances Kelvin Otung

*Words in bold and italics are my heart’s responses

**mumu-button simply means the different methods you can easily reach a loved one and get them to ease up or succumb to you.

She left Jesus behind… 😌

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She left Jesus behind… 😌

Oh she did!
Simply ran out and left Jesus! He was meant to go with her, ‘kill’ her fear, be the Light in the darkness she was walking into, hold her hand through the journey, but when they got to her destination, she left Him and RAN!

My baby girl, Arielle came visiting and during her stay, PHCN (our power distribution company) did their thing. Actually, they have been behaving these days, they ration it and we have decoded their timetable and are okay with it. Meaning, at a certain time in the night we will have power till morning. I’m cool with that because they have been consistent…but if it moves to another level of power throughout, as long as you have paid, then God be praised! 💃

So Arielle came visiting and the house was dark. I didn’t want to bother with the generator as I knew power would come at a certain time and besides, I was ok. But she felt, she needed to fan me. Even when there’s power, she loves playing with the hand-fan and I let her enjoy her moments. Minutes before, we had been in the children’s room with my cousin and she grabbed the hand-fan from the dark sitting room, ran back to the bedroom and began fanning me. As we migrated to the sitting room, she forgot the hand-fan there.

Did I mention that Arielle is a very busy 4-year old, the can’t-be-held-down-by-anything-very-bright-and-active one? Oh yes, she is!
On realizing that she left the hand-fan in the room and she needed to be busy, she went to my cousin, “Aunty Queen, please can I have your phone, I need the light.”
“No, Arielle, I’m using my phone.”
“Aunty a-baby (that’s me by the way), please can I have your phone?”
“Why?”
“I want to bring the fan from the room and fan you.”
I pretended to ponder upon her request and then said, “you’ll have to get the fan without my phone”
“But it’s dark!”
“You can see with the light from my iPad or better still, don’t worry about the fan, I’m ok.”
“But I want to fan you!”
“Then, you’ll have to go with Jesus!” having said that I continued watching my series on Netflix, whilst watching her from the corners to see what she’d do. Knowing that Arielle won’t give up till she’s gotten the hand-fan.

She snuck into the room, felt the bed and grab the fan from where she left it, ran out and screamed triumphantly, “I got the fan (showing it to me with pride and an accomplished smile)!”
“Good job, Arielle, I’m proud of you! And where is Jesus?” I queried.
“I left Jesus in the room!”
“You what?!” Trying to suppress my laughter and act surprised.
“I left Jesus in the room,” she repeated. At this point, Queen burst out laughing.
Maintaining my seriousness, I continued, “Arielle, how could you leave Someone I asked to lead you into the room and run out, please go back and bring Jesus.”

She walked to the doorpost, put her head into the semi-dark room and shouted, “Jesus, come out o!” and ran back to the sitting room. We couldn’t stop that laugh in a hurry.

On a serious note, many of us have gone into stuff with Jesus as our Driver, but when it comes to negotiating, strategizing, we think to ourselves, Jesus doesn’t understand the times we are in, after all He’s not a Millennial or computer literate, He doesn’t have a twitter account. But let me stop here to acknowledge the One that hasn’t stop trending, the One without whom there is no net! You are the partner, drawing on Him for inspiration, so don’t you ever forget that!

Little Arielle left Jesus in the room, because she knew He could take care of Himself and her and the rest of us in the house. But just to be her caring self, she beckoned on Him to join us in the living room.

Where have you left Him?
I heard you, “He is in me.”
When last did you allow Him have a say in anything you did?
“I think He’s been part of it all along.”
*Arielle, at least knew where and when she left Him. She even recognized that she left Him…. Some of us behave like Samson and ‘wist not that the LORD has departed’ and we continue flexing

I’m done with the questions, I’ll let you ponder on the answers and if you’d like to share, I’d be listening. For now, I’m off to check on Arielle and her adventures.

@imanikel 260721 (c) Frances Kelvin Otung

*Thank you for the addition, CN 😊

#FreedomFriday – Flight Fright

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#FreedomFriday – Flight Fright

I read my cousin’s first flight experience, a beautifully written article that got me in stitches, but also in fright as I was catapulted back into that airplane to relive my first one. Boy! There’s no shame in telling the truth. I never did understand why something that heavy will be in the air and not drop, before you go preaching about Newton’s Law of Gravity and four forces of flight, spare a first-timer the speech! 😋

The first time I consciously remember going on a flight was just after marriage and we needed to be in Lagos as a matter of urgency. Being my first time, I was walking forward with steps backward, Oba was practically pulling me towards the departure lounge. Many crazy thought flew past me and none of them I could cling onto except the arms of the ‘crazy fellow’ I had gotten married to who was doubly excited about this particular flight for reasons best known to him. He has always been a daring one and seeing him like this was no surprise to me but that even with my voiced concerns, he didn’t say, “because I love you and don’t want you to jump off the plane because of your phobia, let’s go back!”

No o!

The ‘Uncle’ joyfully nudged me on all the while saying “there’s nothing to worry about baby, it will be a smooth ride.”

Okay o!

We got to the lounge and the voice says, we are delaying *** Flight because of … (can’t remember what she said) and I turned to him as if to say in my silence, ‘shebi, you see that even the planes don’t want to be flown’, he noticed and responded, “baby, they are working on it.”

Why was I afraid, apart from my original fear of flights?
You see, hubby had just returned from Abuja and that plane he used, carried others who never made it to their destination.

So, I watched this plane land from Abuja and about to go to Lagos from Calabar, but needed to be repaired. See fear o! Hmmm.

After the repairs, the flight was called, NOBODY moved, there was a crowd of protesters at the airport, calling for the necks of that particular airline, for keeping them waiting and then proceeding to load them into a plane that was repaired in front of them?! No way, I no dey enter this plane.

The airline boss (an expatriate) came and spoke with us and decided to do the flight with us, so as to assure us, still nobody moved. The next thing I knew, Oba was pulling me up with wide brimmed smiles as he bounced towards the plane. All the while, assuring me that it will be okay.

I learnt to unstop my ears when it filled up with sound and hold on to him whilst praying in the Spirit under my breath as I climbed those steps. Wondering why my first flight had to be so frightful.

Do you know from take off, the flight to landing, that was my best flight ever! The crew were extra nice and we even did a standing ovation for the Boss and his team when we landed. As for those that refused to join the repaired aircraft, those who arrived late at the airport simply took their place and you can’t blame them, they didn’t know what had happened before their arrival.

It may sound funny to you, but I still engage myself in 30 minutes or an hour plus of prayers whenever I’m flying so that I don’t start wondering why something so heavy is in the air. Another thing I do, is programme my mind that in so so and so time, I’ll be at this destination and if I look at my watch I’m still in the air, panic attempts to set in, but I try (I dey manage) to overcome it.

On one of those flights, I was with my senior sister and the turbulence was crazy and no matter how I reminded myself that these were liken to road bumps, the Holy Spirit heard our groanings which were not uttered. 😊

Pray tell, how was your first flight experience?

@imanikel 180621 (c) Frances Kelvin Otung

#FreedomFridays – Commanding the Elements

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#FreedomFridays – Commanding the Elements


King-Earl had returned earlier from school that day than his sister and as he waited for her return, he noticed the clouds changing. He remembered that he had seen his father ‘decree and declare’ severally when the elements changed and the rain stopped in his favour. He recalls his mum walking casually by across the dark room and saying “Light be” and power returned to his amazement. He decided to try his faith. He spoke to the heavens to hold their peace till Imani got home. He prayed that she will not be wet and then continued with his business. An hour or so later, Imani is home and grandma promptly informs her, your brother had held the rain on your behalf, to which Imani responds, “So, how come I’m drenched!”

I had a good laugh behind-the-scene when I heard the story, but I ‘warned’ Imani about ‘killing’ my son’s faith in prayers. I was pleased he was considerate and also thought of praying for his sister, I was glad he believed in its efficacy and I encouraged him not to give up. Like I said to him, just maybe if he hadn’t singled out only Imani as the one the rain shouldn’t touch, maybe it wouldn’t have rained because she was probably walking with a friend back home and it would have been selfish for Imani to be dry and the friend beside her, wet.

Do you believe in the words that you speak or in the prayers you release? I do!

Photo by Sourav Mishra on Pexels.com

So the other day I was dressed for work, but I couldn’t leave because the rains where pouring as if on a mission that must be fulfilled early in the morning, whilst singing the song, 🎼Ain’t no stopping us now, we’re on the move!🎼 to a beat that only thunder could give and lighting added hers for stage effects.

“Defeated”, I sat back on my bed and remembered some song we used to sing as children when the rains began…don’t tell anyone, but I sang it 🙈😋
🎼Rain, Rain, Go away
Come again another day 🎼
…and when I got to the part that says “Little Johnny, wants to play”, I stopped because I wasn’t ‘little’ and my name is definitely not “Johnny!” The rains didn’t stop immediately, but stop they did and to work I headed out.

I am IMAN – I Manifest Adonai’s Nature, #UnapologeticallyMe

@imanikel 210521 (c) Frances Kelvin Otung

#ThankfulThursdays – Just because I Am!

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#ThankfulThursdays – Just because I Am!

Dear God,

It’s so easy to complain about the traffic I have to endure every morning and every evening on my way to and from work. The many hours I get to wait before I get a vehicle. But someone, has been praying to get a job, and no response yet; “If only, they’ll take me, I’m tired of sitting at home!” they pray daily.

It’s easy to complain about the rising cost of foodstuff, yet someone threw away food yesterday, because it had stayed too long in the fridge to the point that it got bad because of PHCN and their magic called light.

How about the complaints of having to repeat dresses, shirts, trousers? By the way, the mad man on the street is still wearing the same barely-covering-anywhere clothes for months now and he keeps trudging the streets, having serious conversations with all the unseen and I’m not sure where he sleeps.

The list in endless…but these paint the picture.

Did I remember to greet You and ask how You are doing with the affairs of keeping us in line? I don’t think so, You are God and it’s so easy for You to coordinate that. I guess! 🙈

Well, I just popped in to say thank You for all those really beautiful miracles this week from total strangers. Just when I was feeling like, why do You let me go through all this, You send someone to tap me out of the thoughts and offer me help. Twice, this week. I know it’s You, because it’s got Your prints all over it.

Thank You especially for beautiful songs that spring up too and make me dance without realizing where I am. It makes me lost in the amazement of Your deep love for me. Indeed, nothing and no one can separate me from Your love and like You used Gochii to point out again, this JOY You’ve given to me, if I keep connecting to it, nothing or no one can STILL it.

Just a note to say, I love it that You love me more…*wink*

Iman – I Manifest Adonai’s Nature #UnapologeticallyMe

@imanikel 200521 (c) Frances Kelvin Otung

#MotivationalMonday – Missed calls

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#MotivationalMonday – Missed calls

So, what’s the phenomenon behind “missed calls”?

Will something happen to me if I have a missed call, whether genuinely missed or intentionally ignored?

A businessman would calculate the value of that call, and so would the operator at the Lighthouse or Control Tower who warns of the danger of missing a call etc.; I’m sure you get the picture now.

One of my friends, (name withheld, but with a sound of ‘war’ in it), used to give me the heat for not picking her call, few minutes after we last spoke. Being about two minutes away from picking me up, I would deliberately ignore her call. Upon querying her as to why this was important, she responded; “what if something happened soon after we got off the phone and I needed to alert you on it”? So, I learnt not to ignore calls, even when I think I know what will be discussed.

So, yours truly is back from work, very tired and have to make food to eat (usually something unusual), with the satisfied look of finally-life-has-new-meaning-to-me and then Oba comes calling! I don’t have a problem with his calling, just so you know, but there are times that though you miss someone, you’d rather just fall into the bed and be watched by a movie (my usual), than pick a call, pretending to be listening and sometimes sleep off on the person as he or she is talking.

Thinking over on this now, there are some voices so soothing, they’d easily send you to sleep.

When you find a missed call on your phone, what do you do? Call back, or thank God you missed it, or blame it on the network.

Well, you did miss a call or two today.

How did I know?

What did you do with that prompting to pray for someone; Check up on someone and or leaving a message (which sometimes may sound silly, but by the time you get a response from that person, you recognize that you had just responded to a call that was divinely dialed), or simply having a conversation with God your Father?

What else did you do after the worship alarm went off, snoozed and continued sleeping till the bath alarm sounded?

It would be mischievous of me to put you on the spot, making you feel funny and sad about your missed calls…

So this is what we will do, return those calls; that’s one of the ways you get to build a stronger bond with Him, don’t you know He loves hearing your voice, be it in prayer, praise or worship or even gisting. I even write Him notes! That’s been a while, but I’m repenting and resuming my duties. I need to fill up His post bin.

How are you going to make up?

It’s a dicey situation, but whatever you decide that makes you happy, may the call you miss not be the one you had been waiting for for a while, to propel you into the next best and big thing!

@imanikel 260421 (c) Frances Kelvin Otung

Hung on the Word

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Hung on the Word

Love is the strings I hear that held You bound to the Cross
Falling down a cliff, but like Mary, I hung on Your every Word
Lost, seeking to find my path through life
I dive in, struggling through the battles I strive.
Do I have the strength to carry me through?
Or the nerve to testify that You’re good?
Falling, I held on

Blood is the flood that washed me from every stains of death
Blinded with tears, I used grace to wipe my eyes of earth
Discovery! The blood didn’t stain, it made free of pain
How do I explain the great worth of death and its gain?
Does this sound wise or it’s just in my own eyes?
That grace bought what was redeemed from the many lies
Falling to my knees, I stayed

Hung up on the cross and down to the grave
Purpose You made, was to make me no slave
Freed! The Word is indeed real and complete
Let me be! In Him, I’m beyond defeat
Spoken, full of light and power to deliver
A token, on which to trust as I believe
“Fallen”, the Word was my stay.

@imanikel 080421 (c) Frances Kelvin Otung

Into Me See aka #Intimacy

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Into Me See aka #Intimacy

For some reason, all the songs I’ve listened to today, is a call to be intimate and be satisfied – knowing Who you seek and desire. Lately, Oba has been on my matter, on another level I must say, and before your mind starts racing round the globe, he’s not with me right now, but within the Community…LOL. 😌 He’s working on our communication (non-verbal), gist (verbal) and we laugh about the silliest of things. It’s like being rediscovered newly. 🙈

I reckon, there’s an outcry for depth in relationships (whatever type of relationship you are involved in) and really see everything about the person (warts and all) and staying there regardless of the sides you discover. Speaking of sides, the other day, my sister (from another mother) posted something about having three sides and I told her (and the other of my sister) that I know four or more of their sides and we are still laughing about the matter, because there’s so much to discover if only we look deeper.

I’m taking a new path down the intimacy lane and it involves Communication, Observation and Intentionality to Discover or Rediscover what is underneath the one(s) you are crazy about! It’s been deliberate and sometimes annoying, like “didn’t I just talk with you?!” 😳and he goes, “Did you see me?!” meaning let’s do a video-call. To which I respond, “my battery is low”, of course he didn’t hear that part because by the next second, my phone is ringing, and guess what, I’m in the dark, because PHCN has done their rationing thingy and I can’t find someone to help with the generator. But Oba is satisfied seeing my silhouette even with the slowly dying-out torch I have in the living room, whilst waiting for power to return or the gen-helper to show up.

Intimacy is a call to drop your guard, let go of the mask and just BE! That’s risky you say and I have to agree with you. What’s life without risk and spice? What’s life that is regimented to a T! I don’t mind the mix at all, the colours make the world a better place, so why should anyone seek to remain on the surface?

A call to discover has gone out, and it is seeking takers to come into depth with the Father in the place of worship. Calling on others to go beyond the seen and love like never before. It is a call for MORE.

Into me see the things I’d rather hide
Discover stuff that take away pride
Peel away layers upon layers
And bring to fore my deep desires
Into me see the tears behind my eyes
And the pain that pierces my sides
Search through piles and piles
Of truths I keep away in unmarked files
Into me see the me that is bare
Bold and sometimes without a care
Pulling away brick after brick
Till I’m like one without a grip
Into me see I’m done with the tales
Cos in You, falsehood pales…
When glory unveils the veiled
This intimacy has me revealed

You know your varying areas of need, get intimate with it, discover the other angles to your life, family, business, ministry and whatever makes your heart glad. I’ll be here smiling as I anticipate the next move in my #Intimacy journey.

@imanikel 290321 (c) Frances Kelvin Otung

#HappySunday!

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#HappySunday!

I know those that know will begin to laugh at the title. It happened like two or so weeks ago, I opted to let it pass, but then it happened again! So, here I am calling out all the #HappySunday peeps. Where are you at?!

“What happened?” you ask.

I was on my way to church on that Sunday and around my estate gate was a gathering of men (middle-aged, young and a slightly older man), the older man greeted me with “Happy Sunday!” and I responded, “Good morning Sir” and continued and whilst thinking about it, I wondered aloud and it occurred to me that I usually hear Policemen say that, I smiled and forgot about it.

On my way home, one of my neighbourhood friends stopped the Bike he was on, just to greet me as I waited to buy something at the supermarket. I hailed him back and the next thing he said was, “Happy Sunday” and waited. I wondered why he was waiting and the person with me said he was waiting to get something from me because it’s Sunday! Now, I’m shocked, as to why a greeting should be interpreted to mean, “It’s time to settle me, Sunday has come”…hmmm! 😳

I ignored all the “Happy Sunday” greeters and went home in that hot sun to relax and eat a good lunch.

Dear reader, I’m up for giving to anyone on any day of the week. But whilst, they have chosen a particular day and given it honour, an honour that gives it special recognition as tax-collection day, I have chosen the whole 7 days of the week, including their Sunday to collect my ‘tax’. So when next I meet you and greet you ‘Happy Wednesday’, you know what time it is, please, don’t make me repeat myself. Just simply do the needful and we will have peace in Salem 😌.

Oh, I forgot to ask, I hope your day is going on well and before you answer that, Happy Tuesday and you know what that means…I’m expecting different kinds of alert! 💃Anamashobiri! 😋

@imanikel 160321 (c) Frances Kelvin Otung

The Gift called Silence

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The Gift called Silence

Rushing to my lips were a variety of ‘amazing’ responses,
Suited for the cacophony of ‘shades’ shot at my defenses.
Begging to be released, so they wash the other
As if by this singular act, restore order.
Yet, the barricade upon my lips held it grounds,
Causing my insides to bear these painful rounds.
Taking pride and finding love in sweet words;
These, sliced deep and hurt like battle-field swords.
Silence ruled and reigned in my world of many voices,
As different options in my mind held its vices.

Toying with the script I plan to play, with no one for audience,
I created scenes and crops for that day of rewarding offence.
Silently, I weighed, analyzed and found guilty each word
Silently, the Word taunted me to give up my right to God
Silently, with pain gnawing at my core
I pushed past each unmemorable bore
Suggestions of peace came a knocking
Revenge said, “you gat to be joking!”
I had my chances to let it all out and think later
I said no, because a peace trophy is always better.

Silence is a precious gift…
I’m glad I used for this rift.

@imanikel 100221 (c) Frances Kelvin Otung