I woke up this morning thinking about a lot of things and one of the things that dwelt for long in my mind were the things we take for granted or just let slip by, then they become mountains we have to use cranes to uproot and Resentment was one of them. I’m wondering if Resentment and Bitterness are the same, since I’m not too sure, I will search it out. Come along and let’s see what I dug up, it will help you and your relationship for the better.
“Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies.” – Nelson Mandela
As people, we tend to readily point fingers at more obvious offences and sins, and quickly determine the kind of judgment such a person will get or deserves. I read something years back and he said “we would readily ask for a God of judgment for others and a God of Mercy for ourselves”. Why on earth do you think you deserve Mercy and the other person deserves your judgment? Here, you alone were the Judge and the Jury and God had no business in that Court – sitting. Just you!
Resentment also known as Bitterness (you see, they mean the same thing!), Pique, Envy, Jealousy or Irritation is the feeling of displeasure or indignation at some act, remark, person, etc., regarded as causing injury or insult.
Resentment starts from an ‘innocent’ remark, probably one that has been said once too often that you could almost call it ‘the truth’ and the person in question feels bad that you won’t let that incident be…you delight in bringing it up at every opportunity. It is a feeling that sinks really deep into one’s soul and makes you become like a foul-smelling creature to the offended person, such that they can’t stand your presence as it reminds them of something they are trying to forget. Other times, it is something you did and didn’t see a need to right the wrong and just because they can’t stand up to you due to your status or affluence, they begin to resent you. Some people can hide resentment with a smile, but it carries with it pure evil…not like evil can ever be pure!
I am almost tempted to say when you resent someone, the feeling that comes is a crawly, irritating one whenever that particular person is around. Talking about resentment, I can almost feel my skin react as if I was witnessing a cluster of worms (that gives me Goosebumps).
It’s really hard to forgive someone when they keep doing the same thing over and over again to you! But the Bible says when Jesus was accused before the Counsel, and subsequently hung on the tree by the people’s refusal, He prayed God to forgive them. That is love! Love can be and is difficult in such situations, but the God that has called us has called us to be beyond normal, be supernatural. Such love is a rare find and if you will be His disciples indeed, you have to prove it by loving, forgiving and moving on.
The rewards for camping Resentment in your yard are not glorious at all. Rather than have the crawlies over me every time I see you, I let go and release myself from that prison. There’s more to gain being free than imprisoned.
To regain your liberty if that act is SUCH AN ISSUE TO YOU,
• Call the mischievous person to order when you are not upset and carefully tell them what they did ‘innocently’ and how that has affected you overtime.
• Do not attack them, but talk about their deeds, if they don’t see anything wrong in it, let it be and move on to better things/people. There will always be nasty people anyway and for no reason.
• Forgive them and yourself for being in that prison for that long. Step out of it and fling the key (and its spares) into the deep sea. Give a crazy shout, do a silly dance and LIVE!
I am not a psychologist, but I know when the mind is affected, productivity is thrown out of the window. We need to watch how we treat people around us before they begin to resent us and then it becomes deep-seated, too in to be plucked out.
Dr. Nelson’s Pix courtesy: http://emotionalobesity.com/how-to-handle-resentment/
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