Tag Archives: Marriage

I just got married again!

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King-Earl walks in on us (Oba & I) in the kitchen discussing and working. He goes, “are you guys dating?” We looked at each other, smiled and I proceeded to tell Oba about someone in school that wanted to date me and I asked the fellow what dating was, since he was my friend already. He couldn’t really give me an answer then. I suspected he meant ‘intimacy’, so, I turned him down. I concluded this story by saying, “I still don’t understand what dating is”.

All this while, King-Earl was still in the kitchen with us, so he replies “Dating, is taking someone out to a special place that is really, really awesome!” We were awestruck by his definition, but that was the beginning of this drama.King Earl

King-Earl: Mom! Do you take this man as your Royal husband? I curtseyed and replied “yes, I do, your Highness!”
He then turns to Oba, “Dad! Do you take this woman as your normal wife…” At this point, I interjected and said, “I’m not normal, I’m supernatural.”
King-Earl continues…Do you take this woman as your lovely wife?”
Oba: Yes, I do.
Me: So, what next?
King-Earl: Let’s go to the kissing part
We kissed lightly and laughed at the “go to the kissing part.” Imani walks in, wanting to know the reason for the laughter, we tell her, she shakes her head and walks away. King-Earl continues, “but that’s what the pastor does! I know the rules” running away to his room.

Change of mind

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Haiku #110 Change & Mind looks yummy!

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No Turning Back

‘I do’ are two words

To one soul to keep two whole

No mind Change, tis you!

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Creativity

Advanced perception

Shapes taking new forms – beauty

Evident to all!

©2016. Frances Kelvin Otung. All rights reserved

Picture Sources: http://www.iwallhd.com/wallpaper/1356×1356/manipulation-technique-tablet.html

Intimate Wedding in the Middle of the Ocean: Thomas & Kimberly

#FreedomFriday – How Betty got her groove back

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keep-calm-and-get-into-the-groove-1We have all lost someone. I lost Mike, Nelly lost Bruce and mummy lost her sweetheart, my father in-law. Hmmm, I don’t want to entertain any weird thoughts, but (looking lost in her sober world), what is really wrong with this family? Why are all the men dead?

Betty! Betty!! Be…

Turning briskly towards the source of the sound, she manages a smile “Hi Nelly”, heaving a sigh Betty continues “Hope you slept well, the night was long and the air a bit still, so I couldn’t sleep much.” She realises that Nelly had sought her out and not the other way round, certainly she must have something to say. “Sorry, I just went off on a tangent, what did you need me to do for you?”

“Betty, Mike, Bruce and Papa have been gone for years now, how long will you mourn them? I know it’s difficult forgetting people you have loved and lived with for a while, but sis, life goes on,” Nelly said philosophically, the pains in her heart etched on her face “with the way you are going about it, you might likely join them; I don’t want to be left alone with mama, please get a grip on yourself.” She concludes with uncertainty. Bending over to pick the water pot which she places firmly between her body and arm, “I’ve been considering something for a while now, before we grow old and become grouchy old women, is it not better we re-marry? I’m so ready to live life again and so should you. After all Mama doesn’t have any more sons for us to get married to” lowering her voice at this point “and even if she did, I’m not sure I would consider it,” “Why?” Betty asked with as she picked her own water pot. “They might be like their siblings and die early of course!” With that she stomped off towards the path leading to the stream. Betty followed quietly pondering why Nelly was always such a drama queen and almost heartless in a way. But underneath she’s such an angel. If you can stand her assertiveness. I wonder how Bruce and her survived that long, some mothers do have them. “Wait up for me Nelly!” Betty called out hurrying after her.

●●●

Mama had pondered about the matter for weeks now. She loved them like her own, what will people say?

“If they were her own children, would she do this?”
“Wicked woman! After killing their husbands plus her own through diabolical means, she has thrown them out.”
“It’s about time, carry your bad luck and leave our land for us.”

Life had been unkind, why? What did I do wrong? Who did I offend in my youthful age? Why me? She started on her tirade of thoughts which usually ended in sobs. When is this going to end? I can’t even go to the stream or the market freely. Well, I cannot continue like this or I might lose my mind. It is better I am amongst my kind. I’ll feel a lot more welcomed there that the pure undiluted hatred I feel here with every rising of the sun. It has been years but the pain is still so fresh!

Betty! Nelly!!

Where are these children? She wondered. “Mama, they went to the stream”, someone answered in the compound before she could scream their names again. Since morning! I’m sure Nelly is slowing down the train with her plenty stories. “Thank you” Mama shouted after the voice.

●●●

“Like we discussed last week. I’ll be on my way now, you know I have to be at the park 30 minutes before take-off. Don’t forget anything I told you; as you have been good daughters to me, remain so; and may God give you great men as husbands.” Hugging them tightly as if their heart would disintegrate if they separated, they sobbed in each other’s arms briefly, stepped and wiped their dripping noses. “Mama,” Betty began “last night I made up my mind to follow you back to your State. Since Mike and I got married, we never found the time to go there, especially since the crises between them and the neighbouring State.” The mixture of joy and sadness that sprang into Mama’s eyes was obvious and with a questioning gaze she looked towards Nelly. “Mama, I’ll remain here and possibly get remarried.”

●●●

“Back in the days, she was the belle of the community. Because of girls like her, girls like us went unnoticed.”
“Ehen! So this is how life is? After all their shakara, they have come back again.”
“They? You mean she and that strange girl?”
“She left with three men and returned with a girl. Wonders shall never cease.”
“Have you guys heard?” another interjected “Mmakamba, sent the girl she brought back” “Betty, you mean” one supplied the name. “Yes, Betty, to go and work at the new factory down the road.”
“Tell me something! You know the CEO is young, tall, dark, handsome, loaded, Lekki-living, hummer-driving, money-spending… and single!”
“Mmakamba has started again o! I hope she hasn’t forgotten that we also have daughters and sisters who have never been married, she should not even go there.”
“Anyway I’m sure Eric will not look at her twice. Don’t forget she’s a widow. When there’s fresh blood to go round. Who wants used ones?” Hahahahahahahhahaha they all reeled out in unison laughing.

●●●

Here comes the bride, all dressed in white♫ they all sang and Mmakamba smiled forgetting her pains of past losses, as Betty strolled down the aisle towards Eric, looking every inch an angel.

Ruth 1 – 4

Picture Source: http://www.keepcalm-o-matic.co.uk/p/keep-calm-and-get-into-the-groove-1/

© 2015. Frances Kelvin Otung. All rights reserved

WHAT’S IN A FIGHT?

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I have read severally about the topic ‘What’s in a name?’ So today for a change, I decided to find out what is really in a fight.
i-m-mad-at-you-but-i-still-love-youWell, I love fights…is something wrong with me, NOPE! Am I troublesome…? (Thinking, I’ll let my crew answer that and that’s if you have their phone numbers or email addresses then you can ask them. Till then you have to stick with me and believe what I say. winking at the autonomy I hold). Well, I can say I’m mischievous in a sweet way and that’s if you get to understand me. If not, we will constantly be fighting…trying to take territories that aren’t even ours! Vanity, says the Philosopher.

Why do I love ‘fights’? Am I not violent? NOPE! I love a good argument that you can clearly lay out and get the other person to understand you. It doesn’t mean they will accept your reasoning, but at least you have made the point clear and communication flow better. A good fight (not according to Apostle Paul this time) is one that results in good fruits (find the list below and by the way you can add yours) and that what I’m all about today. I always quote to my crew, “I don’t do battles without spoils.” ‘Spoils’ here doesn’t mean I conquered, but that we overcame that hurdle and are the better for it and are a lot better where we are now than where we first began.

The King and I know how to do the good fight and permit me to say, it’s brought us far and made us better. One thing we tell ourselves during it is that “we are not opponents but team members.” And what do team members do, they strive to achieve a common goal. So in these kinds of fight, there are no spoils (the kind you are expecting), but spoils called PEACE to gain and HOT LOVE to enjoy!

A fight tells me the following:
1. We still have unresolved issues in the case of understanding tones, non-verbal communication etc.
2. We care about each other (in a crazy way)
3. It’s time to take a decision
4. Communication lines are going to be unclogged and improved. There will be talking and listening.
5. New commitments will be made
6. Someone just made a decision not to be silent anymore and keep taking it in
7. Self-realisation – that there more to me than who I am.
8. The carpet is bulging from too many things being swept under it and not out into the bin where it belongs!
9. We have given up on each other and can’t take “it” anymore? What if it means good bye?
10. My view point may not be the best, even if it’s often difficult to admit that.

picture109Benefits of a good fight:
• A good fight makes you go outside your borders (in understanding that the last time I did this, it didn’t end well, so let me try the new improved method of reaching out to this person).
• It makes you understand the significant other a lot better. For heaven’s sakes, even twins are not alike to the last dot as we erroneously believe talk less of someone you got into a relationship with or got married to. They come from a different ‘planet’, have differing fields of experiences. We try to merge the two and as with all mergers, there will be areas of conflict that need addressing and polishing to smoothen out rough edges.
• A good fight spices up things and the makeup session is something else! Especially for the married ones. Smiling mischievously…again!
• It exposes strengths and weaknesses. We need to be open to our weaknesses and see how they are complemented by the other’s strengths. This produces a great team; a focused team!

Let’s hear your take on this matter. How do you handle fights, what are the benefits you have seen so far? Eagerly waiting to hear. Inbetween: I didn’t have a fight, just wanted to talk about it and hear differently. ❤ 🙂

Picture credits:
http://imgarcade.com/1/im-angry-but-i-still-love-you/
http://imgarcade.com/1/im-angry-but-i-still-love-you/

© 2015. Frances Kelvin Otung. All rights reserved

Lyrical Monday

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It’s my 7th Wedding Anniversary and its a big deal for me because regardless of every storm we have encountered God has been faithful to pull us through. Sometimes, it seems like it’s an unending cycle of trouble …hmmm …and of joys 🙂 But like you understand about the seasons of life, one season has to stay its course and move on, for the other to play its part. I’m not sure which season this is for us – as it feels like winter and summer together. But then that’s the beauty of having Jesus in your boat…He calms the storm and declares PEACE! BE STILL!

It’s been a crazy ride with you… but I love ‘crazy’ and I’m loving every moment of it…though it hurts sometimes, but I’m glad its you I’m with. Love you till time is no more. You remember I read this poem to you at the wedding…it is still true and more. wink

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© 2014. Frances Kelvin Otung. All rights reserved.

The Beautiful Ones Are Born

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An unnamed beauty

An unnamed beauty

As he sat with Earl aged 3, my hubby flipped through his phone checking out peoples’ updates. He came across this beautiful picture above and flipped on. Earl flipped it back to the pix and the following conversation took place.

Earl: Daddy, can I hug her?

Daddy (takes the phone close to Earl’s heart and says): Booom

Earl (with exasperation): But I can’t hug her through the phone! Bring her out.

King watched with shock at his reasoning and before he could say anything, Earl continues.

Earl: Daddy, can I marry her?

Daddy (LOL): What do you know about marriage?

Earl replies with conviction, “She’s so beautiful” and repeats again “She’s so beautiful”.

Next day, King is on his way to pick my mum from the airport and informs Earl. And Earl asks him if he would bring the dark girl home with him.

So here’s my take on the matter, I have decided to put up her picture and request that the parents of the above unnamed beauty kindly contact me as a matter of urgency, as the person who had this picture as her DP doesn’t even know her! If you were me, what would you do, if your 3 year old asked you for permission to marry a fine girl?