Tag Archives: Personal

Celebrating Life through Loss!


My dear friend and sister Amb. Unyime-Ivy King lost her dad recently. As I watched her wall, read her initial tribute and the ones written by others, I wondered how many of them told him all these things whilst he was alive. Typical of people to plan to tell you someday how they feel about you and how by being who you are, has made them better people. Sadly, ‘that day’ never comes.

Sometimes, pain brings us the needed awakening to the truth that, moments are fleeting and so also life. As such, we need to embrace it totally and completely as each moment passes. Giving every second a bit or more of us…, letting someone understand in that second that they have our attention that they mean the world and more to us.

Knowing this and having experienced a loss-too-many recently, I have decided to chronicle and celebrate people in my life every other day. It doesn’t cost you anything except looking through the archives in your heart and letting people know that you truly appreciate them for the part they have played in the drama called your “life”.

I must say, our lives would have been boring without them in it. It would have been a drag, a dull shade of blue and no exciting hue. Regrets would have be the sigh on our lips at all the unsaid. Some have gone, others will join soon. But we have today and now. Let’s make it worth every breath we take, be the reason for the spring in our steps, the laughter in voice and ring in our song.

Tell me today the-me you love, appreciate and never want to be without. For all we know, the part of me I dislike and wish to change, is actually what makes your world rocks. But I’ll never know if you don’t say. Let the celebrations begin!

*By the way, my friend loves celebrating people. You should try it too!#CelebratingPeople (1)

(c) 2017. Frances Kelvin Otung. All rights reserved.

#LyricalMonday – From Ebony to Ivory


My friend Ebony wrote me this poem many years back. Then I think we had pulled apart a bit, can’t remember the reason for that friction but it was something that shook us. Being a deep person as she is, I couldn’t fathom how we allowed a 3rd-party spoil our friendship. This was like a reassurance that all was well.

We are far apart now (distance-wise), but our friendship is one you know that will last many oceans and seas. She was around recently (though briefly), but it felt like we never parted. To all those out there that maintain friendship regardless of years past/distance creation, this is for you!

Hello Ivory,
How have you been?
How have you really been?
Just using this medium to express the position of my heart
It’s been so long since we bonded
And it’s beginning to look like the bands are destroyed
But that devil is a liar
I miss you so much that even words cannot express
You know sometimes I lay back and I ask myself what ever happened to us
What ever happened to our cords that cannot be broken?
What happened to our hearts being open?
What happened to our going out of our way?
To make sure the other is okay
Or maybe just doing things for the fun of it
And creating memories so we can flashback as we sit
I want you to know that you are one of my priceless jewels
You are the one I call ‘Pearl’
Because you are lustrous and greatly prized for that
You are usually white and people are attracted to that fact
You are very rare and very precious
Your fragrance is like Jasmine
Warm and very temperate
Produced with white flowers
You are like an antique in my museum
You are a souvenir on my shelf
And you are the fair part of myself
You know that we can’t be separated
I’m the chocolate and you are the ice-cream
I’m poured all over you
And there’s nothing you can do
That’s why you are IVORY
You are delicate
And your milky color depicts your softness
I’ve always known that you were tender
How could I have treated you with such stiffness, I ponder
But then I remember
That I am Ebony
And my blackness stands for hardness
That’s why our blend is perfect
And whichever way
Two can play
When you are so sensitive and vulnerable
My hardness creates a balance
And when I’m so stiff and stubborn
Your tenderness and softness fulfills that instance
Sometimes we exchange our roles
And we always come out with a spark
Not “Gordon spark”
The reality I have for you
Is one that can’t be tarnished or finished
It flows from the depths of “forever”
And it will spun the whole world until it finds its rest in you
All I’m trying to say is that you mean a lot to me
And just like the sky
You are a constant in my life
People may come and go
But you will always stay
You might stray
But I know you’ll bring back a lot of pay
Because no one is graced to take that place
And run that race
It is a fierce and rocky journey
And I need you to keep up the pace
You are like an ink stain
On a white piece of cloth, very conspicuous
I could keep on
But whatever my heart says is summed up in these four sweet words

©2016. Frances Kelvin Otung. All rights reserved

A Personal Resolve


I am tired of being asked “why are you always looking serious?”, “why is this fine girl always tying her face?” (as if the face were a neck tie or wrapper), “Who annoyed you?” I am not trying to make an excuse for my ‘set-in-stone-most-of-the-time-looks that could probably freeze Medusa herself’. NOPE. I wish people will understand that some of us do not have smiling faces …not that we are always upset with you o! (Except when I’m really upset, even me dey tire for myself…oops I meant face). And probably we are doing some calculations in our minds or just remembered something that had happened just before you passed and this face has gotten nothing to do with you. I’m sure you get the picture now.

So for the sake of national peace and friendly ambience whenever I show up and for my youthfulness to last longer, I have decided to have a smiling face. I will try to mask my disgust and attempt not to puke when I feel like having one. Put up a Smiley Face mask all the time. E go hard o! But I will TRY…‘TRY’ being the definitive word and this means “attempt to do or accomplish, to endeavor to evaluate by experiment or experience, to make an attempt or effort; strive” etc. I just had to put all those definitions, so when you see me looking like this Angry-Smiley-Face-1080x960-990 you quickly remind yourself (before you accost me on my resolution), that she must have something on her mind, she attempted to have a smile on before I met her and it didn’t work. You could ask me about it with real concern in your voice, hand me a pack of some really nice crackers or biscuits (ask me privately and I will tell you the kind I like – wink). Though I’m watching my weight, I don’t mind having a Coldstone ice-cream with sprinkle of nuts and etc. (please meet me for specifications), KFC Chicken has a way of finding its way into my mind and rearranging the wires. You see I’m quite easy to sort out and get out of that mood.

But having done all and the face remains. Advice: pray in tongues and abort every attempt to linger any longer. Simple methods to know if to stay or leave.

Anger draft_lens8529101module74020911photo_1260740523microexpressions-happines

I’m just TRYING to become the new me, not just in words but in deeds. So when next you see me looking upset, ask me about my personal resolve. 🙂 Smiling already as I sign off.

Smiley face: http://cliparts.co/cliparts/pc7/KEE/pc7KEEbKi.jpg

Angry face: http://chughtailab.com/common-myths-about-anger/

Anger: http://www.adoration.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/Anger.jpg

Happiness: https://empathicperspectives.files.wordpress.com/2010/02/draft_lens8529101module74020911photo_1260740523microexpressions-happines.jpg

© 2015. Frances Kelvin Otung. All rights reserved