Tag Archives: relationship

#LyricalMonday on a Tuesday


My tagline says “Life…Love and Laughter!”

‘Life’ as we know it, is full of several moments. Some of these moments are not as sweet as we would have wished them to be. But does that mean we shouldn’t live life, no way! My life, your life and everyone else’s (as a matter of truth) has been touched by times we prayed never happened, times we wished the clock would rewind.

It was during one of those times, life happened and Oh! The pain of that loss!

Lyrical Mondays_020216

©2016. Frances Kelvin Otung. All rights reserved.

Of Tablets & Heartbreak


We travelled over the Christmas for the holiday and during this period, every discussion we had with King-Earl was laced with hidden references to his desire for Tablets. You see his cousins have tablets and King-Earl has been expecting one for him and another for his sister.

According him during a visit to his Aunty in Uyo:

Aunty Hope:   Earl, so you are going back to Lagos?
King-Earl:      Yes, Lagos where our Tablet is! Mine is going to be Navy Blue and Imani’s own will be Navy Pink. (all these responses whilsts reclining on her chair with his legs up and head down)

Another day…

King-Earl:     Daddy…
King:               Yes dude
King-Earl:      I’m giving you one week to buy our Tablets.

After a few days, which wasn’t up to one week yet.

King-Earl:      I’m giving you till tomorrow to take us back to Lagos where our Tablet is and buy it.

*As we speak, the Tablet matter has died down (at least for now). I guess something else has distracted him.


Last night, we shared a bottle of wine between the four of us and King-Earl insisted that his be put in an empty Pepsi bottle. After which he moved close to Imani and did ‘cheers’. We all did it and gave toast. Shortly after that, King-Earl said “I wish my wine turned in Pepsi.”

I told him to pour his Wine into my wine glass and it will become Pepsi. Imani cautioned him against it, while the King laughed at my wayo. King-Earl moved calmly to me, stood by my side and said “I don’t want to break mummy’s heart. I’m only meant to fix it!”

That ended the wine-into-Pepsi saga.

*Wayo means Trickery

©2016. Frances Kelvin Otung. All rights reserved.

Saying Sorry


What’s the BIG deal about ‘saying I’m sorry, I flunked here and missed it there, you were right, I appreciate your friendship, let’s not fight anymore?!’

Why won’t people apologize?! I’m trying to understand and I still don’t get it. I don’t know about others, I feel it’s about time people grew up and own up to their misconduct rather than tag it to Masculinity or Divinity. Someone wrongs you and because he is a man, you are told you “don’t …” and I keep asking when we appear before the Judgment seat, is God going to say “men this way, women this way … I’ll address your sins differently because you are the man.” If you have this answer, please send me a reply. So a man does wrong and the woman is ‘coerced’ to apologize “for peace sake”. Bible says in Matthew 5:9 “Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God.” I don’t see ‘FEMALE’ written there or ‘SUBORDINATE’, I thought everyone wanted to be called the Children of God?

Well, I’m not starting a woman-group-call-to-action-against-men forum, just saying it because some woman is too afraid to state the obvious and some man is too cocky to say sorry and enjoy the wife of his youth! Men are naturally proud, I keep hearing. But what does it profit a man if he gains the pride and loses his peace? Maybe that’s the African Bible as the one I read recently, which I met at birth says “God resisteth the proud and gives grace to the humble”.

At this point, let me reiterate, a woman seeking for your apology isn’t asking for much, she just wants to know that you care and are sincere about her feelings to the point that when you hurt her, you want to make it better. Is that too much to ask of you guys? Come on! Submission would be so much easier if you made the platform welcoming. You won’t listen to hear but your word is LAW and there’s no disobeying. Are we in a dictatorial arrangement or a union which foundation is in God? *Nsu tor nkpo?! If she wants to be heard, is it wrong to listen and then lovingly counter or dismantle whatever wrong notion you think she has about a matter? Whatever happened to friendship? I saw this online and I think it aptly defines women. pay attention to her

Let him that hath an ear hear and while you are gathering your arsenal to fire them at me, this wasn’t all about you and you and you. Like Mr Ben Bruce would say, “I just want to make common sense”. I rest my case!

Enjoy your day!

*What kind of thing is this?

Picture source: https://plus.google.com/+Awesomequotes4usuresh/posts/VGdrLJS4NTG

(c) 2015. Frances Kelvin Otung. All rights reserved

#FreedomFriday – How Betty got her groove back


keep-calm-and-get-into-the-groove-1We have all lost someone. I lost Mike, Nelly lost Bruce and mummy lost her sweetheart, my father in-law. Hmmm, I don’t want to entertain any weird thoughts, but (looking lost in her sober world), what is really wrong with this family? Why are all the men dead?

Betty! Betty!! Be…

Turning briskly towards the source of the sound, she manages a smile “Hi Nelly”, heaving a sigh Betty continues “Hope you slept well, the night was long and the air a bit still, so I couldn’t sleep much.” She realises that Nelly had sought her out and not the other way round, certainly she must have something to say. “Sorry, I just went off on a tangent, what did you need me to do for you?”

“Betty, Mike, Bruce and Papa have been gone for years now, how long will you mourn them? I know it’s difficult forgetting people you have loved and lived with for a while, but sis, life goes on,” Nelly said philosophically, the pains in her heart etched on her face “with the way you are going about it, you might likely join them; I don’t want to be left alone with mama, please get a grip on yourself.” She concludes with uncertainty. Bending over to pick the water pot which she places firmly between her body and arm, “I’ve been considering something for a while now, before we grow old and become grouchy old women, is it not better we re-marry? I’m so ready to live life again and so should you. After all Mama doesn’t have any more sons for us to get married to” lowering her voice at this point “and even if she did, I’m not sure I would consider it,” “Why?” Betty asked with as she picked her own water pot. “They might be like their siblings and die early of course!” With that she stomped off towards the path leading to the stream. Betty followed quietly pondering why Nelly was always such a drama queen and almost heartless in a way. But underneath she’s such an angel. If you can stand her assertiveness. I wonder how Bruce and her survived that long, some mothers do have them. “Wait up for me Nelly!” Betty called out hurrying after her.


Mama had pondered about the matter for weeks now. She loved them like her own, what will people say?

“If they were her own children, would she do this?”
“Wicked woman! After killing their husbands plus her own through diabolical means, she has thrown them out.”
“It’s about time, carry your bad luck and leave our land for us.”

Life had been unkind, why? What did I do wrong? Who did I offend in my youthful age? Why me? She started on her tirade of thoughts which usually ended in sobs. When is this going to end? I can’t even go to the stream or the market freely. Well, I cannot continue like this or I might lose my mind. It is better I am amongst my kind. I’ll feel a lot more welcomed there that the pure undiluted hatred I feel here with every rising of the sun. It has been years but the pain is still so fresh!

Betty! Nelly!!

Where are these children? She wondered. “Mama, they went to the stream”, someone answered in the compound before she could scream their names again. Since morning! I’m sure Nelly is slowing down the train with her plenty stories. “Thank you” Mama shouted after the voice.


“Like we discussed last week. I’ll be on my way now, you know I have to be at the park 30 minutes before take-off. Don’t forget anything I told you; as you have been good daughters to me, remain so; and may God give you great men as husbands.” Hugging them tightly as if their heart would disintegrate if they separated, they sobbed in each other’s arms briefly, stepped and wiped their dripping noses. “Mama,” Betty began “last night I made up my mind to follow you back to your State. Since Mike and I got married, we never found the time to go there, especially since the crises between them and the neighbouring State.” The mixture of joy and sadness that sprang into Mama’s eyes was obvious and with a questioning gaze she looked towards Nelly. “Mama, I’ll remain here and possibly get remarried.”


“Back in the days, she was the belle of the community. Because of girls like her, girls like us went unnoticed.”
“Ehen! So this is how life is? After all their shakara, they have come back again.”
“They? You mean she and that strange girl?”
“She left with three men and returned with a girl. Wonders shall never cease.”
“Have you guys heard?” another interjected “Mmakamba, sent the girl she brought back” “Betty, you mean” one supplied the name. “Yes, Betty, to go and work at the new factory down the road.”
“Tell me something! You know the CEO is young, tall, dark, handsome, loaded, Lekki-living, hummer-driving, money-spending… and single!”
“Mmakamba has started again o! I hope she hasn’t forgotten that we also have daughters and sisters who have never been married, she should not even go there.”
“Anyway I’m sure Eric will not look at her twice. Don’t forget she’s a widow. When there’s fresh blood to go round. Who wants used ones?” Hahahahahahahhahaha they all reeled out in unison laughing.


Here comes the bride, all dressed in white♫ they all sang and Mmakamba smiled forgetting her pains of past losses, as Betty strolled down the aisle towards Eric, looking every inch an angel.

Ruth 1 – 4

Picture Source: http://www.keepcalm-o-matic.co.uk/p/keep-calm-and-get-into-the-groove-1/

© 2015. Frances Kelvin Otung. All rights reserved



Reminiscing on the gain/pain of relationships

In the story called “My Life”, written as each day unfolds. I’ve met other lives and been part of their story. Most started well and some didn’t…. But for every life I came across, I always made it one filled with a bit of me in my entirety. Not just the loving sweet me, but also the passionate fiery me! Some could handle that – but others melted under the heat my fire brewed.

As I wove my way through their winding path, earnestly trying to play my part, my heart connected and danced to their rhythm. Yet when the end came and they went off the stage…my stage, our stage…to continue elsewhere, the pain of separation was more than only I could bear. Some memories hurt at the thought of them…at times I wonder, must I walk this path?!

It’s been years, and a lot of tears.

But now I can look back and be grateful for every life I played a part. For then I thought I should have acted differently…how wrong I was, as they’ve returned somehow to thank me for allowing them into mine and though it hurt back then, for these gains, I’ll “gladly” go through the pains again.

Happy New Month to you, may it be truly fruitful! ❤

© 2006. imanikingblog.com. All rights reserved



I have read severally about the topic ‘What’s in a name?’ So today for a change, I decided to find out what is really in a fight.
i-m-mad-at-you-but-i-still-love-youWell, I love fights…is something wrong with me, NOPE! Am I troublesome…? (Thinking, I’ll let my crew answer that and that’s if you have their phone numbers or email addresses then you can ask them. Till then you have to stick with me and believe what I say. winking at the autonomy I hold). Well, I can say I’m mischievous in a sweet way and that’s if you get to understand me. If not, we will constantly be fighting…trying to take territories that aren’t even ours! Vanity, says the Philosopher.

Why do I love ‘fights’? Am I not violent? NOPE! I love a good argument that you can clearly lay out and get the other person to understand you. It doesn’t mean they will accept your reasoning, but at least you have made the point clear and communication flow better. A good fight (not according to Apostle Paul this time) is one that results in good fruits (find the list below and by the way you can add yours) and that what I’m all about today. I always quote to my crew, “I don’t do battles without spoils.” ‘Spoils’ here doesn’t mean I conquered, but that we overcame that hurdle and are the better for it and are a lot better where we are now than where we first began.

The King and I know how to do the good fight and permit me to say, it’s brought us far and made us better. One thing we tell ourselves during it is that “we are not opponents but team members.” And what do team members do, they strive to achieve a common goal. So in these kinds of fight, there are no spoils (the kind you are expecting), but spoils called PEACE to gain and HOT LOVE to enjoy!

A fight tells me the following:
1. We still have unresolved issues in the case of understanding tones, non-verbal communication etc.
2. We care about each other (in a crazy way)
3. It’s time to take a decision
4. Communication lines are going to be unclogged and improved. There will be talking and listening.
5. New commitments will be made
6. Someone just made a decision not to be silent anymore and keep taking it in
7. Self-realisation – that there more to me than who I am.
8. The carpet is bulging from too many things being swept under it and not out into the bin where it belongs!
9. We have given up on each other and can’t take “it” anymore? What if it means good bye?
10. My view point may not be the best, even if it’s often difficult to admit that.

picture109Benefits of a good fight:
• A good fight makes you go outside your borders (in understanding that the last time I did this, it didn’t end well, so let me try the new improved method of reaching out to this person).
• It makes you understand the significant other a lot better. For heaven’s sakes, even twins are not alike to the last dot as we erroneously believe talk less of someone you got into a relationship with or got married to. They come from a different ‘planet’, have differing fields of experiences. We try to merge the two and as with all mergers, there will be areas of conflict that need addressing and polishing to smoothen out rough edges.
• A good fight spices up things and the makeup session is something else! Especially for the married ones. Smiling mischievously…again!
• It exposes strengths and weaknesses. We need to be open to our weaknesses and see how they are complemented by the other’s strengths. This produces a great team; a focused team!

Let’s hear your take on this matter. How do you handle fights, what are the benefits you have seen so far? Eagerly waiting to hear. Inbetween: I didn’t have a fight, just wanted to talk about it and hear differently. ❤ 🙂

Picture credits:

© 2015. Frances Kelvin Otung. All rights reserved