October 2023 – imanikingblog

When does what stop?!

I could list a number of things that references this question, but I’ll focus today’s rhetoric on parents and their children.

Growing up, I’ve experienced several ‘you can’t do this, you can’t have that, you can’t touch this?’ These days everywhere you turn, from the motivational speakers to the pastors, a bell constantly rings in your head, saying ‘you can do this, greater works than this shall you do!’ You couldn’t touch the car, except you where washing it. God help you if your parent came out to check what you were doing and you are comfortably seated in the front seat. How??? 😲 As a matter of fact, a mother just said to her daughter on TV, “there’s nothing you can’t do or achieve.” Now, I’m wondering at what point did the world change this much?

Last night as we were analyzing a particular scenario, I said to Emma “you’ll need to follow your grandma the way she is – she’s old school but I’m not new either, but a mix of both!” “I know mother,” came the response. So I planned on redyeing my hair and my mum nearly had a fit when she saw the final outcome on the pack. She said to me, ‘shey you plan to wear a wig this colour.’ No, I intend for my hair to be that colour, though because it’s black, I won’t get the fiery copper colour.’ She still indicated her disapproval. But what must be done will be done.

Before we began the process, she had gone to bed and we dyed the hair which like I earlier noted wasn’t fiery. I showed it to her in the morning and she exclaimed, “it’s still black, I’m sure you didn’t do it well.” “But I had told you it won’t be that bright.”

As I write, I recall wanting to sew a 3 quarter skirt and she said I shouldn’t, but sewed it for my junior sister. I recall when dreads came out newly, she was very vehement in her protest about me not doing it and reeled out a small list of her friends who wanted to do the hair and she protested and they didn’t, why should her child do otherwise? 🤷‍♀️

Now after marriage and a teen, I’m still being instructed on what to do and not. So, I ask, when does it stop? When do you stop being that little baby they gave birth to decades ago, because with the value systems we grew under, it would be disrespect to go ahead.

Let’s hear how you managed your own situation as I need help fast. 🏃‍♀️