Jesus’ Point of View – my paraphrase

It’s been a long while ago I died!
In those days (even now), when people died, those alive mourned, they were saddened by that loss – because they weren’t going to see the person anymore. Or perhaps at the remembrance of how good the person was to them and how they will miss their benevolence or presence. But not so with me, and thinking about it, I’m wondering what I ever did wrong to deserve this. Oh! I remember, maybe once, I called them names. But between you and I, you would agree that name described them very well – Brood of vipers! Oh, I can never forget how flushed their faces became from the senior to the least priest nor how the blood drained from their faces and they became white! LOL. Hilarious!
But is that enough reason to hate me so much?! And before I forget, I also whipped and drove at those merchants (oops men of God) from the temple. It is a place of worship, I’m not sure who decided that selling there would bring more people. Did I tell them I was into networking or soul-winning?
Beyond that and maybe some personal grouse they had for me, all I did was good for them and yet when they had the chance, they whipped me bloodied, made me drag the cross from the city to Golgotha. I had to slice through the thickness of their hatred to get to the place of execution. The humiliation, the jeers, the stones, the rotten fruits they threw, the vinegar, the lewd words, they even played *Kaalu-kaalu over my clothes! No iota of respect for one about to die and for what? A trial without concrete evidence! They accused me of speech, that I said “I am the Son of God.” Am I not?! Why would I prefer a name I am not to the One I Am, funny bunch! I Am the Truth and I don’t do lies like their father, that ancient deceiver. I don’t have his time right now, let me address the issue at hand.
As I was saying before I went on history lane, how come when I died they rejoiced! No one was sad (except my mother and John), my beloved John! And where did Peter go shortly after that – to fish! Is that all I meant to him? One would think that after denying Me, he would look for ways to make up. Did his business mean so much to him than the Kingdom? Did he not understand when I said “seek ye first the Kingdom of God and all its righteousness and all these things shall be added unto you!” Peter, dear Peter, I gave you an earlier sign that these things would happen. I even told you to be careful that the deceiver was seeking permission to render you useless, but you refused to listen. For someone that knew so much, you broke my Heart!
Word in Pidgin English:
*Kaalu-Kaalu: Gamble
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