Scarred

As he sat to eat breakfast, whilst I watched, the mango lay still in the bowl. I reminded him that though he wanted to be an engineer, he could do anything additionally. After all, he had the fingers of an artist. Yes, he draws and creates cartoons, but I’d love him to do portraits, too.

Shey, you still remember that you can write about anything and turn it into a poem.
Yes
Ok, let’s create a poem about this mango 🥭
Right now?
Why not?
Let’s call it “The Scarred Mango”
No, that will already tell the readers what it is about. You need to intrigue them 😉 😜 😘
Ok, we’ll call it “Scarred,” then.
Don’t forget to add the time and the date, so you know when you wrote it.
Ok.

And we began. But I wrote mine first (as he was eating), moreover, he said he wanted his lines to rhyme 😲, so he needed to think it through.

Why are you covering yours as you write, 🤔 mummy?
Because I don’t want you to use my lines. That way, yours is an original!

There you go, the first “Scarred” poem is by King-Earl, and I love his poem… very much, actually, because the first time we attempted to do a poem together many years ago about, it was laughable because he was describing the vase and making it obvious. Today is the 2nd attempt, and we wrote separately. These are the results.

It’s in you to become what you think. Think good. Think great and BE! Like Pastor Paul would say, it’s the Creator-Life at work in you!

What do you think about his work?

I am IMAN – I Manifest Adonai’s Nature
#UnapologeticallyMe
#iman
#imaninspires
#imanwrites
#imaniking

@imanikel 26032024 Frances Kelvin Otung (c)

When Does It Stop?

When does what stop?!

I could list a number of things that references this question, but I’ll focus today’s rhetoric on parents and their children.

Growing up, I’ve experienced several ‘you can’t do this, you can’t have that, you can’t touch this?’ These days everywhere you turn, from the motivational speakers to the pastors, a bell constantly rings in your head, saying ‘you can do this, greater works than this shall you do!’ You couldn’t touch the car, except you where washing it. God help you if your parent came out to check what you were doing and you are comfortably seated in the front seat. How??? 😲 As a matter of fact, a mother just said to her daughter on TV, “there’s nothing you can’t do or achieve.” Now, I’m wondering at what point did the world change this much?

Last night as we were analyzing a particular scenario, I said to Emma “you’ll need to follow your grandma the way she is – she’s old school but I’m not new either, but a mix of both!” “I know mother,” came the response. So I planned on redyeing my hair and my mum nearly had a fit when she saw the final outcome on the pack. She said to me, ‘shey you plan to wear a wig this colour.’ No, I intend for my hair to be that colour, though because it’s black, I won’t get the fiery copper colour.’ She still indicated her disapproval. But what must be done will be done.

Before we began the process, she had gone to bed and we dyed the hair which like I earlier noted wasn’t fiery. I showed it to her in the morning and she exclaimed, “it’s still black, I’m sure you didn’t do it well.” “But I had told you it won’t be that bright.”

As I write, I recall wanting to sew a 3 quarter skirt and she said I shouldn’t, but sewed it for my junior sister. I recall when dreads came out newly, she was very vehement in her protest about me not doing it and reeled out a small list of her friends who wanted to do the hair and she protested and they didn’t, why should her child do otherwise? 🤷‍♀️

Now after marriage and a teen, I’m still being instructed on what to do and not. So, I ask, when does it stop? When do you stop being that little baby they gave birth to decades ago, because with the value systems we grew under, it would be disrespect to go ahead.

Let’s hear how you managed your own situation as I need help fast. 🏃‍♀️

@imanikel 031023 Frances Kelvin Otung (c)

Happy #IWD ❤️

What would the world be like without women? I wonder.
Lacking lustre without a doubt, on these I will not ponder.
Say not that I praise her because I am one…
But then you may not be far from the truth dearest one
Known for her ability to multiply seeds and bring ease
The world stands to benefit from her and find peace
Little wonder the Proverbs 31 woman may sound like myth
Yet a simply search and you find her in every midst
We’ve heard it said, “why so many days celebrating women?”
Deep down they realise what bore it would be with just men!
Don’t think for a second we would have it otherwise…no way!
With the men around we roll on all sides and sway!

Celebrating women everywhere and the men who are not afraid to have us in their space. It is not a man’s world, it is not a woman’s world.

It’s simply OURS!

Happy International Women’s Day

#EmbraceEquity

@imanikel 080323 (c) Frances Kelvin Otung

I Manifest Adonai’s Nature
#UnapologeticallyMe

#ThankfulThursday – People

Listening to my friend and colleague Vaso talk about people on his podcast this morning, I could totally relate. But I won’t ask like McReynolds to be delivered from people, but that I will be able to help people recognise their best selves daily as much as I can. Sometimes, it’s truly difficult to do that, but the power of the tongue doesn’t permit me to say some things my tongue desires to, cause I’m afraid I’ll just birth or bring into existence what I don’t want to see. 🙈

Well, the trick lately is to look at me and see, what part of me still needs working on, and I work it. So it seems my patience has been pulled in all directions lately, my mind attacked, my self-esteem tugged out…but the funny thing about my self-esteem is I had dealt with this one when I was a lot younger. So the attacks don’t reach there, they simply reinforce me!

How?
Since you asked, let me share…
So at an early age, I heard things like, “you are too chubby, too fat (for heaven’s sake I was a fat baby and fat babies are cute 😌, though heavy to carry and I didn’t like been carried while sitting, do the maths! LOL), your head is big, your …is big, your …is flat, are you Chinese – no disrespect, my people, but I heard a lot? Once, I took a tape and measured someone’s head and his was bigger than mine and yet he said I had a big head!
So whenever, someone mentioned my head, I told them that’s why I was wiser than them.😋
As for the big …, I see most of them now doing surgery to enlarge theirs…rolling my painted eyes at those memories. 👀

Well, people will always be people, but you have to determine the access you give them, the access into your space and mind to the point that they begin to matter or not.

When I wake in the morning, it’s refreshing to see people, even those who are outright annoying, at least they bring you back to reality that you are not yet a Spirit and there are still more for you to work on in this side of eternity. Beyond that, they form my daily interesting characters for #MyLagos Series.

Whatever you are thankful for today, be thankful for people!

@imanikel 041121 (c) Frances Kelvin Otung

I’m In Love With A Cook!

You see, I usually don’t get hungry or eat before 11am and any day I do that, then something unusual had happened. I’ll leave the reasons for another day. Before, you begin your sermon on “breakfast is the most important meal of the day”, can I be excused briefly from this Master class? Thank you.

To make matters worse, I don’t love bread (just like my dad 😌) except it is toasted and has some messages inside that I have to decode, then you’ve got me! By the way, those ‘coded messages’ should not make my bread soggy or else, I won’t eat it.

Imagine my shock and much to my delight this morning when I asked Oba to help me with eggs and sausage and the helping took a while as I dressed up, only to see toasted bread in my food pack 😳. I lifted the bread to be sure the eggs were there…after all that’s the request.
Eggs? ✅
Sausage? ✅
And I dropped back the bread with a mild protest of “I may likely not eat this because it will get soggy!”
Oba responds, “It’s toasted bread, baby!”
I can see that, but it’s still hot and by the time I get to the office, it will be. I protested.

Fast forward to office scenario:
The bread started calling my name just before work began, I still had time on my hands, I simply ignored it. After all, I don’t get hungry before 11am. Next thing, I knew, I brought the pack out to keep it close so I can delve into it when it’s time but alas, the sounds grew stronger and stronger and with each cry to be redeemed, my defenses fell apart. I hate to admit.

I began thinking about giving you this gist with half a piece gone, but by the time I got to typing the title, the whole slice had disappeared.
Boy! That was delicious!
After adding some messages inside, he pan-toasted the bread. So I didn’t get a hard-crust toasted bread, but a succulent, soft and now decoded bread with my eggs and sausage till awaiting demolition at a later hour.

So you see why I’m in love with the cook, because he knew my button and he pressed it well, till I broke my own law!

It’s #ThankfulTuesday and I have someone to thank God for and he is all mine!

PS: When I told Oba “I’m in love with a cook”, he asked me which one? And I asked him how many he knew. He listed Udy of @foodtopiaud and Idong of @idy_lacremecakes, but left himself out.
This is just you babes! And it’s a double!

#UnapologeticallyMe

@imanikel 051021 (c) Frances Kelvin Otung

When Lovers Fight… 😟😉😳🏃‍♀️

Dear Heart,

I have a question for you.

*“Go ahead, I’m listening”

Why do you hurt so much when I’m offended and upset at him? (Let me add a second)
Why does he go about smiling and grinning as if what happened didn’t do a number on him or pluck a nerve in him!
Is it that I never meant anything to him? 😟😳
If you feel sad in me about what has happened and want to reconcile, how come your twin in him, is cocky and won’t bow to please you and make me feel better?

“Iman?”

Yes, Heart? 😔 and don’t give me the he’s-a-man card, you’ve played that card for too long!

“Yes, he has a heart like you have me, but he is wired differently. By this I mean, some of them don’t wear their hearts on their sleeves like you do! And just so you know, when you are hurt, he hurts too, because you are connected by love (Soulmates), woven in emotions, bonded in spirit. He may not show it, he may even call your bluff, but trust me on this, the pain is real for him as well. When you ‘fight’, he acts out in different ways that says, I-don’t-care-you-didn’t-affect-me-that-much.”

“Let me ask you Iman, would you rather do battle or do love?!”

But you know I love Love and there’s no beating about the bush on that. So does that give him the right to hurt me by acting tough rather than say sorry?, not like the sorry would really matter, but I’m a babe and the sorry would mean, “I acknowledge I was wrong here and I miss our companionship”, I miss our time together, let’s make up, my world has been not-it without you and so much more, if you get what I mean.

“O yeah sure I get your point… but let’s try something out. Since you know you love Love, why not talk about what he did that you don’t like in a loving and friendly manner and see if he will come to you. If that doesn’t work….”

I give him the silent treatment, right?! 💃

” 😂😂😂😂😂 Iman???
Why do you love pulling the silent treatment card always? But you claim to love love; love keeps no records of wrongs, but seeks to breed peace at all times”

“If you search within you, you will realise you know how to reach him more smoothly… like you say in Nigeria, you hold his **mumu-button, simply activate it with a smile,…trust me he will come panting after you.”

Go no further, Heart. You’ve just hit the nail on the head. But please have a word with your twin in him and tell him to soften up his master, we can’t keep activating the mumu-button over ‘fights’, it’s for special times, if you get what I mean.

“But Iman, you know you don’t have to be religious with your “Special Moments”, besides you need that button the most in times of conflicts. You know Iman, it’s wearisome trying to reach the one you love when both of you are being driven apart by your ego.”

Hello Heart, For the life of me, I’m wondering, when did we join the opponent’s team, we ought to be on the same team for Christ’s sake. I am not the enemy! and there’s no trophy to win in fighting each other, can’t you see!?

“I understand you clearly Iman, but you see, when we talk about loving and giving, respect is also a gift as compassion is a gift. “A gentle answer turns away wrath” as the Bible says.”

…but some people have interpreted it to mean a gentle answer by a woman, turns away the wrath of a man… isn’t it?

“It is both ways o! So let’s be intentional in loving, You and I, together we can do better. Let’s be mindful of our lines and ways of communication when we are angry with him, because there are some words you’d say in that moment of rage that when the battle is over and we feel right about pushing the mumu-button, we may push for so long and run the battery out, because of hanging memories of the things said in anger.”

“Wash your mouth…oops, I meant to say WATCH your mouth. You don’t want to live your life in regrets because you wouldn’t let go of your title on the EGO belt.”

Hmmmmmm Heart?? 🙈🙈🙈 you are so right you know?

“O sure Iman, that is why I am your partner in this love relationship. You know you can’t always rely on your head, but on me; I help you make the best decisions girl”

Thanks Heart. I truly appreciate your honesty with me, I’ll keep these words really close to you, and follow through on them. Once again, thank you for being a sweetheart for real.

Heart??

“Yes Iman?”

You know? He actually said sorry, and that he wasn’t okay when I wasn’t; and I’m glad it’s all sorted now. But don’t forget to talk to his heart too ok?

One more thing Heart, “I don’t know his mumu-button, because I am his mumu-button!💃😘😘😘

Yours in love,
#UnapologeticallyMe

@imanikel 060821 (c) Frances Kelvin Otung

*Words in bold and italics are my heart’s responses

**mumu-button simply means the different methods you can easily reach a loved one and get them to ease up or succumb to you.

Meditation helps

Oba is away for a while to address work and settle family matters. This means we get to relate mostly via phone. The question begs, when someone you relate with everyday, like almost every other hour is not in proximity with and to you, how do you keep the fire burning, their touch close or their voices within ear shot?

You think about them!
Yes, have your mind full of their thoughts, voices and everything that reminds you of them. To the point that, if you had a question you would have asked them for their opinions, you can easily tell what their responses would be because you have your mind full of them. Therefore, you will hear a voice say “this is the way, walk in it!”

Little wonder, the Bible enjoins us “to mediate on it day and night and observe to do according to all that is written”, to “think on these things”, and to be “as the man thinks in his heart”

The word meditation comes from the Latin word meditārī, which has a range of meanings including to reflect on, to study, and to practice. It is the act of remaining in a silent and calm state for a period of time, as part of a religious training, or so that you are more able to deal with the problems of everyday life. It is also the act of thinking about something very carefully and deeply for a long time.

I’m not dealing with the yoga-kind of meditation here, just a simple clearing or better put decluttering your mind of unnecessary thoughts that are not progressive to your health, well-being, relationships with their spouses or others, work, family, dreams/aspirations and focusing on those thoughts that are!

The fact that people most and generally do not give time to “thinking” (meditating) on each aspect of their lives as they ought to. Thinking on (investing thoughts) these parts of our lives actually means fuelling life into them, and breathing on them to live.

If we can commit to thinking deeply (meditate), on everything we hope to see life happen on another level just as we want it to, I’m sure they will come alive just the way we see them in the place of meditation.

Meditation implies investing thoughts, it is a SEED planted, you can plant, then nurture daily by thinking a step deeper and deeper, until the desired end is achieved.

I love this aspect, it does not have to happen immediately, but being consistent in adding a thought on the positives side, and deepening every passing day, births the positive giant we wish to see

Let’s do right by peace, joy and love today, create that atmosphere around you, carry it wherever you are! Let your meditation be on that which is lovely, true, honest, has virtue and is of a good report. Who agrees to this mind change? Let’s see it in your action!😘

@imanikel 27102020 Frances Kelvin Otung

My Melting Point

You melt the coldest of heart with your love
with the ease of one that comes from above.
By deeds so little, yet mean so much to me
you leave me in awe of how sweet life can be!
Hmmm, they say, “there she goes again,
strutting her stuff without bargain!”
But how do I state or explain
the little things you do, though plain
How do I capture in clear terms
that you are soft, yet very firm.
By your touch my defenses fall
and in silence, I hear you call.
Far or near, your words are so dear
their meanings, I hold with much care.

Today, I remember my days
when thoughts of you came out to play
I just said to stop by and say…
“You are my ‘go-to’ any day!”

@imanikel 18092020 Frances Kelvin Otung

Wrap Me

Wrap me round you when the cold brews
Wrap me round you if you want hues
Wrap me round you if you seek clues
Wrap me round you i’ll pay your warmth dues!

Unwrap me from memories, let’s share stories
unwrap me from a time of heated glories
Unwrap me in your mind from memory stand
Unwrap me with a song, and dance to the band

Seek me out from piles of coloured tiles
Seek me out from your drawer of files
Seek me out to study my body
Seek me out we are more than buddies.

Search through the grains before it rains
Search through each lane, don’t let it drain
Search with intensity and find
Search, defy, don’t leave me behind!

@imanikel 18092020 Frances Kelvin Otung

#WQWWC – Memories

Memories…are moments just gone by

Becoming seconds and minutes as times flies!

Each, bearing fluttering hearts, sometimes tears…

All a sure sign to say I care, cared or someone still cares

Our wishes might be some memories banquished

Or relive the times when true love flourished

Whatever it be, all that matters is

Space became home and lace with girls

Grass formed paths that boys’ feet blazed

Curtains fell, and stained glass glazed

Sweet, bitter, desire, despise…

Don’t seek some memories twice!

©2016. Frances Kelvin Otung. All rights reserved

Picture Source: http://picscompany.com/quotes-about-memories/