You’ve moved on like ‘centuries’ ago making moments lose its’ glow… Yet, I still see and reminisce your moves and several instances where your words lighted and remained your deeds impacted and sustained, leaving behind reminders that reek of you!
There should be a point I let go and allow the currents to flow taking with it bits and pieces past so the new will find ground to breed fast, creating new experiences with a tinge of old? Nah! I’d rather grow learning, than put my life on a hold. Leaving behind reminders that reek of you!
It is what it is, Be silent in there please! It is what it is You’ve lost your ability to tease It is what it is With the past, I’ve made my peace.
Have you ever been in a situation you just wanted
some peace, calm and quiet away from the crazy world outside?
View yourself in a mixed crowd of people with half
of them going nowhere specific, all they do each morning is wake up without so
much as a splash of water on the face, or toothpaste to the teeth, set out to
the corner of the street, with a sachet of alcohol in one hand and a Pepsi
plastic bottle tucked into a pocket behind, walking the length of the junction
or street corner, looking for who to brush past or harass and move on to the
I have to swim through these groups every other morning
to get to the point I can catch a ride to work. Thankfully, I don’t make up
their jurisdiction. Pheww. Imagine surviving that, getting into a bus of
‘seemingly’ sane people, only to meet a young man with beards that need a
barber’s touch be nasty! Actually the beards have been shaven but it seemed
with a blunt instrument. Well, I had no hand in that, so why was he nasty to
He got into the bus before me (you know those
8-seater buses), I call them “Ilesha buses” because that’s where I saw them
first. My Ilesha peeps, have mercy o! Mbok. On getting into the bus, I was
trying to sit beside him and the driver moved, so I sort of slumped into the
chair and ‘Unku’ moved himself to assert ownership of the zone and I said,
“Please, take it easy.” He goes, “Do you want me to go out through the window?”
I’m only asking you to take it easy. Should I leave
this seat, would it make you feel better?
What’s my own?
Am I paying for the seat?
Probably, you want to, so you feel more comfortable.
And he goes on and on about how he didn’t even touch
me and I’m wondering whose elbow was nudging me immediately I sat. When all I
needed was to sit first before he started moving and claiming territories. I
could see he was upset about something and this was purely “transferred
things”. So I say to him, “I’m not the reason you are upset and I can see you
are a nasty fellow.” Yes, I said it. And he responded back to me. Told him, he
was a man (meaning he should have stopped talking by now), but he went on and
on. I did the next best thing, I left him to the seat behind which was
comfortable and free of the nagging man.
The good book says “It is better to stay on the rooftop than to live with a quarrelsome man”. I took the advice o! Did I tell you he had the last say? At this point, I’m sober and wondering who has gotten this young man to this point. What do I know? At least, I achieved that initial peace I was looking for, away for ‘Unku’.
Knowledge, though power should keep you humble, so you can reach and share with others thereby making more impact. Sometimes, all you need to have faith in someone or a thing is your knowledge of that person or thing.
Sometimes, walking away is victory, silence is victory! Other times, ‘bloodshed’ is necessary, but at what cost? Would you rather have a victory at the expense of your team member?
Just wondering and that’s my thought today.
I’m thinking aloud, so loud that you can hear my thoughts and I’m asking you…are your feet BEAUTIFUL?
The finest ever!
Dainty…pristine like that of a princess.
And I ask the next question, do preach PEACE?! Can someone, anyone point at you and say that’s a PEACEMAKER. In a world going bonkers with everyone wanting to be heard whether what they say is okay for all (to a great extent) or a select few. Do you seek peace?
And I’m also wondering how many beautiful-footed writers we have; those who delight in peace? Well, I was hoping not to say much today, but to get you to think whilst you do what you do best.
As you have a re-think and probably refocus how you preach what you preach, Colleen and friends have something they want to share with you and it’s all at the #WQW
(c) 2015. Frances Kelvin Otung. All rights reserved
I have read severally about the topic ‘What’s in a name?’ So today for a change, I decided to find out what is really in a fight. Well, I love fights…is something wrong with me, NOPE! Am I troublesome…? (Thinking, I’ll let my crew answer that and that’s if you have their phone numbers or email addresses then you can ask them. Till then you have to stick with me and believe what I say. winking at the autonomy I hold). Well, I can say I’m mischievous in a sweet way and that’s if you get to understand me. If not, we will constantly be fighting…trying to take territories that aren’t even ours! Vanity, says the Philosopher.
Why do I love ‘fights’? Am I not violent? NOPE! I love a good argument that you can clearly lay out and get the other person to understand you. It doesn’t mean they will accept your reasoning, but at least you have made the point clear and communication flow better. A good fight (not according to Apostle Paul this time) is one that results in good fruits (find the list below and by the way you can add yours) and that what I’m all about today. I always quote to my crew, “I don’t do battles without spoils.” ‘Spoils’ here doesn’t mean I conquered, but that we overcame that hurdle and are the better for it and are a lot better where we are now than where we first began.
The King and I know how to do the good fight and permit me to say, it’s brought us far and made us better. One thing we tell ourselves during it is that “we are not opponents but team members.” And what do team members do, they strive to achieve a common goal. So in these kinds of fight, there are no spoils (the kind you are expecting), but spoils called PEACE to gain and HOT LOVE to enjoy!
A fight tells me the following:
1. We still have unresolved issues in the case of understanding tones, non-verbal communication etc.
2. We care about each other (in a crazy way)
3. It’s time to take a decision
4. Communication lines are going to be unclogged and improved. There will be talking and listening.
5. New commitments will be made
6. Someone just made a decision not to be silent anymore and keep taking it in
7. Self-realisation – that there more to me than who I am.
8. The carpet is bulging from too many things being swept under it and not out into the bin where it belongs!
9. We have given up on each other and can’t take “it” anymore? What if it means good bye?
10. My view point may not be the best, even if it’s often difficult to admit that.
Benefits of a good fight:
• A good fight makes you go outside your borders (in understanding that the last time I did this, it didn’t end well, so let me try the new improved method of reaching out to this person).
• It makes you understand the significant other a lot better. For heaven’s sakes, even twins are not alike to the last dot as we erroneously believe talk less of someone you got into a relationship with or got married to. They come from a different ‘planet’, have differing fields of experiences. We try to merge the two and as with all mergers, there will be areas of conflict that need addressing and polishing to smoothen out rough edges.
• A good fight spices up things and the makeup session is something else! Especially for the married ones. Smiling mischievously…again!
• It exposes strengths and weaknesses. We need to be open to our weaknesses and see how they are complemented by the other’s strengths. This produces a great team; a focused team!
Let’s hear your take on this matter. How do you handle fights, what are the benefits you have seen so far? Eagerly waiting to hear. Inbetween: I didn’t have a fight, just wanted to talk about it and hear differently. ❤ 🙂
I am tired of being asked “why are you always looking serious?”, “why is this fine girl always tying her face?” (as if the face were a neck tie or wrapper), “Who annoyed you?” I am not trying to make an excuse for my ‘set-in-stone-most-of-the-time-looks that could probably freeze Medusa herself’. NOPE. I wish people will understand that some of us do not have smiling faces …not that we are always upset with you o! (Except when I’m really upset, even me dey tire for myself…oops I meant face). And probably we are doing some calculations in our minds or just remembered something that had happened just before you passed and this face has gotten nothing to do with you. I’m sure you get the picture now.
So for the sake of national peace and friendly ambience whenever I show up and for my youthfulness to last longer, I have decided to have a smiling face. I will try to mask my disgust and attempt not to puke when I feel like having one. Put up a mask all the time. E go hard o! But I will TRY…‘TRY’ being the definitive word and this means “attempt to do or accomplish, to endeavor to evaluate by experiment or experience, to make an attempt or effort; strive” etc. I just had to put all those definitions, so when you see me looking like this you quickly remind yourself (before you accost me on my resolution), that she must have something on her mind, she attempted to have a smile on before I met her and it didn’t work. You could ask me about it with real concern in your voice, hand me a pack of some really nice crackers or biscuits (ask me privately and I will tell you the kind I like – wink). Though I’m watching my weight, I don’t mind having a Coldstone ice-cream with sprinkle of nuts and etc. (please meet me for specifications), KFC Chicken has a way of finding its way into my mind and rearranging the wires. You see I’m quite easy to sort out and get out of that mood.
But having done all and the face remains. Advice: pray in tongues and abort every attempt to linger any longer. Simple methods to know if to stay or leave.
I’m just TRYING to become the new me, not just in words but in deeds. So when next you see me looking upset, ask me about my personal resolve. 🙂 Smiling already as I sign off.